avoidant how to love or leave a dismissive partner

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Avoidant

Author : Jeb Kinnison
ISBN : 0991663667
Genre :
File Size : 86. 54 MB
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Jeb Kinnison's previous book on finding a good partner by understanding attachment types ("Bad Boyfriends: Using Attachment Theory to Avoid Mr. (or Ms.) Wrong and Make You a Better Partner") brought lots of readers to JebKinnison.com, where the most asked-about topic was how to deal with avoidant lovers and spouses. There are many readers in troubled marriages now who are looking for help, as well as people already invested in a relationship short of marriage who'd like help deciding if they should stick with it. People in relationships with Avoidants struggle with their lack of responsiveness and inability to tolerate real intimacy. Relationships between an Avoidant and a partner of another attachment type are the largest group of unhappy relationships, and people who love their partners and who may have started families and had children with an Avoidant will work very hard to try to make their relationships work better, out of love for their partner and children as well as their own happiness. The Avoidants in these relationships are more than likely unhappy with the situation as well-retreating into their shells and feeling harassed for being asked to respond with positive feeling when they have little to give. The other reason why so many people are looking for help on this topic is that it is an almost impossible problem. Couples counsellors rarely have the time or knowledge to work with an Avoidant and will often advise the spouse to give up on a Dismissive, especially, whose lack of responsiveness looks like cruelty or contempt (and sometimes it is!) Yet there is some hope-though it may take years and require educating the Avoidant on the patterns of good couples communication, if both partners want to change their patterns toward more secure and satisfying models, it can be done. How can you tell if your partner is avoidant? Does your partner: Seem not to care how you feel? Frequently fail to respond to direct questions or text messages? Accuse you of being too needy or codependent? Talk of some past lover as ideal and compare you to them? Act coldly toward your children and the needy? Remind you that he or she would be fine without you? Withhold sex or affection as punishment? If that sounds familiar, then your partner is likely avoidant. At about 25% of the population, Avoidants have shorter, more troubled relationships, and tend to divorce more frequently and divorce again if remarried. What can be done? Individual therapy for the motivated Avoidant can move their default attachment style toward security, and to the extent that problems have been made worse by an overly clingy and demanding anxious-preoccupied partner, therapy can help there, as well. Partners who read and absorb the lessons of these books will have a head start on noticing and restraining themselves when they are slipping into an unsatisfying communications pattern, and an intellectual understanding of the bad patterns is a step toward unlearning them. Not all difficult Avoidants can be reformed; that depends on both partners, the depth of their problems, and their motivation and ability to change over time. But many troubled marriages and relationships can be greatly improved, and the people in them can learn to be happier, with even modest improvements in understanding how they can best communicate support for each other. For those reading who have not read Bad Boyfriends or are less familiar with attachment types, a beefed-up section on attachment theory and attachment types from "Bad Boyfriends" is included. Regular readers of JebKinnison.com will find edited versions of some relevant material previously posted there."

Handbook Of Interpersonal Commitment And Relationship Stability

Author : Jeffrey M. Adams
ISBN : 030646148X
Genre : Psychology
File Size : 28. 93 MB
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A fundamental assumption underlying the formation of our most important relationships is that they will persist indefinitely into the future. As an acquaintanceship turns into a friend ship, for example, both members of this newly formed interpersonal bond are likely to expect that their interactions will become increasingly frequent, diverse, and intimate over time. This expectation is perhaps most apparent in romantically involved couples who, through a variety of verbal and symbolic means, make explicit pledges to a long-lasting relationship. In either case, it is clear that these relationships represent something valuable to the individuals in volved and are pursued with great enthusiasm. Virtually all close relationships are formed within the context of mutually rewarding in teractions and/or strong physical attraction between partners. Friends and romantically in volved couples alike are drawn to one another because of similarity of attitudes, interests, and personality and, quite simply, because they enjoy one another's company. This enjoyment, cou pled with the novelty that characterizes new relationships, almost makes the continuation of the relationship a foregone conclusion. As relationships progress, however, their novelty fades, conflicts may arise between partners, negative life events may occur, and the satisfaction that previously characterized the relationships may diminish.

Improve Your Relationships Eq By Improving Your Attachment Style

Author : Isabel Kirk, LPC
ISBN : 9781329125995
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 61. 2 MB
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Even though research shows that relationships are the main source of happiness, they can also bring a lot of pain to people’s lives. Why does that happen? Because unfortunately it is not all a matter of love. People are complex human beings and therefore so are relationships. This book provides a basic introduction about how attachment theory explains the way we feel and behave in relationships, how even though certain matches don’t seem to be what we want at first sight might be what we need in the end, and the pathway with many exercises to put in practice individually and with a partner (if available) to achieve long term results. So the love science made it simple for anybody to get a quick grab of it and hands on practices to start working right away... Our style of attachment affects everything. That is why recognizing our attachment pattern can help us understand our strengths and vulnerabilities in a relationship and put them to work to achieve happiness. For married, divorced and singles.

The Healthy Mind Toolkit

Author : Alice Boyes, PhD
ISBN : 9781524704537
Genre : Self-Help
File Size : 68. 62 MB
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An empowering guide to overcoming self-defeating behaviors I can’t believe I just did that! Why does this always happen to me? I really should stop myself from . . . Sound familiar? Whether we’re aware of it or not, most of us are guilty of self-sabotage. These behaviors can manifest in seemingly innocuous ways, but if left unchecked can create stress and cause problems in all areas of your life. In The Healthy Mind Toolkit, Dr. Alice Boyes provides easy, practical solutions that will help you identify how you’re holding yourself back and how to reverse your self-sabotaging behaviors. Blending scientific research with techniques from cognitive behavioral therapy, this engaging book will take you through the steps to address this overarching problem, including how to: • Identify the specific ways you're hurting your success in all aspects of your life • Capitalize on the positive aspects of your extreme traits instead of the negatives • Find creative solutions to curb your self-defeating patterns • Practice self-care as a problem-solving strategy Filled with quizzes and insightful exercises to personalize your journey from harmful behaviors to healthy habits, The Healthy Mind Toolkit is the essential guide to get out of your own way and get on the path to success.

Sexuality Now Embracing Diversity

Author : Janell L. Carroll
ISBN : 9781337404990
Genre : Psychology
File Size : 36. 93 MB
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The fresh, fun, and hip approach of SEXUALITY NOW: EMBRACING DIVERSITY, 6th Edition teaches students what they need and want to know about sexuality while clearly conveying foundational biological and health issues and citing current and classic research. A product of author Janell Carroll's partnership with her students, the text answers the questions and concerns that students have about themselves and their sexuality with scientific fact, sensitivity, humor, and unmatched candor. Carroll presents the range of sexual orientations and behaviors and takes into account the social, religious, ethnic, racial, and cultural contexts of today's students. The new edition includes even more examples and research on sexual diversity both within and across cultures. Important Notice: Media content referenced within the product description or the product text may not be available in the ebook version.

Emotion Focused Couples Therapy

Author : Leslie S. Greenberg
ISBN : STANFORD:36105131618279
Genre : Psychology
File Size : 86. 77 MB
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"If couples therapy is to produce real transformation, authors Leslie S. Greenberg and Rhonda N. Goldman argue, the process must be hot: Emotion must be activated. Emotion fuels conflicts; therefore, therapists need to help couples get at the primary emotions that power negative interactional cycles and transform these emotions into more adaptive, functional ones. In Emotion-focused couples therapy: The dynamics of emotion, love, and power, Greenberg and Goldman explore the foundations of emotion-focused couples therapy (EFT-C) and expand its framework to focus more intently on the development of the self and relationships. The authors show how EFT-C can promote soothing and help clients deal with unmet needs from adulthood and childhood. They discuss the affect regulation involved in three major motivational systems central to couples therapy--attachment, identity, and attraction--and clarify the role of emotions and motivations in the dominance dimension of couples interactions. Written with practitioners and graduate students in mind, the chapters present a rich variety of case material to demonstrate how working with emotions can facilitate change in couples and, by extension, in all situations in which people may be in emotional conflict with others. Greenberg and Goldman provide the tools needed to identify specific emotions and show the reader how to work with them to resolve conflict and promote bonding in couples therapy"--Jacket. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2008 APA, all rights reserved).

Mcgraw Hill Education 500 Review Questions For The Mcat Behavioral Sciences

Author : Koni S. Christensen
ISBN : 9780071837460
Genre : Study Aids
File Size : 31. 63 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
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500 ways to pass the Behavioral Sciences section of the new MCAT! Intensive practice + detailed answer explanations—the best way to sharpen skills and prepare for the exam In anticipation of the fully revised 2015 MCAT, 500 Review Questions for the MCAT: Behavioral Sciences has been updated to comprehensively cover the biology portion of the Psychological, Social, and Biological Foundations of Behavior section. This book provides the problem-solving practice you need to take the exam with confidence. 500 questions organized by subject Thoroughly reviews the topics covered by this new MCAT section Complete explanations to every question given in the answer key

Encyclopedia Of Human Emotions

Author : David Levinson
ISBN : STANFORD:36105028661978
Genre : Affect (Psychology)
File Size : 77. 52 MB
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"Why do people cry, how do we manage horror, what do facial expressions tell us about a person? The answers to these questions and many more can be found in the Encyclopedia of Human Emotions, which brings to gether what is known about the nature, causes, expressions, and societal role of emotions. The 146 alphabetically arranged articles are sprinkled with photos, illustrations, and references to literature. Also covered are biographies, emotions that have been the subject of scientific study, and how emotions relate to society (e.g., hate crimes). The plain language of this unique encyclopedia makes it accessible to high-school students and the general user, while the level of scholarship makes this a useful resource to researchers as well."--"Outstanding reference sources 2000", American Libraries, May 2000. Comp. by the Reference Sources Committee, RUSA, ALA.

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