beyond the frustrated self overcoming avoidant patterns and opening to life

Download Book Beyond The Frustrated Self Overcoming Avoidant Patterns And Opening To Life in PDF format. You can Read Online Beyond The Frustrated Self Overcoming Avoidant Patterns And Opening To Life here in PDF, EPUB, Mobi or Docx formats.

Beyond The Frustrated Self

Author : Barbara Dowds
ISBN : 9780429911422
Genre : Psychology
File Size : 64. 28 MB
Format : PDF, ePub
Download : 431
Read : 1118

Get This Book


This book foregrounds the life struggles of an individual, Brenda, in such a way that argument and theoretical exploration arise organically out of experience. The "frustration" of the title is traced to avoidant attachment - pretending not to need others. In Brenda this is associated with a body-energy pattern that is both over-charged and over-contained, generating a self-frustrating process. Such a repressive defence works against her, so that she experiences her life as dry, soulless, and uncreative. A variety of existential difficulties are traced to how such core developmental issues interact with our socio-cultural environment. A way forward is outlined: play and finding meaning are identified as transformational hubs that bring wellbeing into Brenda's life and restore her capacity for experiencing.

Attached

Author : Amir Levine
ISBN : 1101475161
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 72. 37 MB
Format : PDF, Mobi
Download : 979
Read : 868

Get This Book


Is there a science to love? In this groundbreaking book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Amir Levine and psychologist Rachel S. F. Heller reveal how an understanding of attachment theory-the most advanced relationship science in existence today-can help us find and sustain love. Attachment theory forms the basis for many bestselling books on the parent/child relationship, but there has yet to be an accessible guide to what this fascinating science has to tell us about adult romantic relationships-until now. Attachment theory owes its inception to British psychologist and psychoanalyst John Bowlby, who in the 1950s examined the tremendous impact that our early relationships with our parents or caregivers has on the people we become. Also central to attachment theory is the discovery that our need to be in a close relationship with one or more individuals is embedded in our genes. In Attached, Levine and Heller trace how these evolutionary influences continue to shape who we are in our relationships today. According to attachment theory, every person behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways: *ANXIOUS people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back. *AVOIDANT people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness. *SECURE people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving. Attached guides readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mates) follow. It also offers readers a wealth of advice on how to navigate their relationships more wisely given their attachment style and that of their partner. An insightful look at the science behind love, Attached offers readers a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections.

How To Overcome Avoidant Personality Disorder Avpd And The Avoider Mentality

Author : Noam Lightstone
ISBN : 1536846058
Genre :
File Size : 87. 35 MB
Format : PDF, Docs
Download : 812
Read : 526

Get This Book


The #1 Tool To FREE YOURSELF AND YOUR PARTNER From The Fears of Opening up, the Feelings of Needing to Run Away, & The Worries of Getting Rejected ...Even if you've always been afraid of saying what's on your mind and feel like nobody understands you. You don't feel safe. You feel like you need to hold on tight to everything that you've got inside. You feel like they're going to laugh at you, judge you, and reject you. But you want to talk to people and connect so badly... Why are you so scared, then? Why do you push them away? Have You Ever Opened up to Someone about Your Fears and Anxieties and Been Told To "Just Go to Therapy" Or "Just Be Confident?" It's not your fault that this all keeps happening.Because of certain events or traumas you went through in your past, your mind is creating mental traps and wastes like fear and anxiety. You then learned habits and tools to deal with them that your mind believes will stop painful emotions like rejection, heartbreak, sadness, and anger that you experienced before from ever happening again. Sure, you can go to therapy like most books and people say to feel better-but a lot of times that's just a throw-away suggestion that's meant to get you to go away. It feels like nobody cares. How You Can "Crack the Code" to Conquer your Fear of Intimacy, Feel Safe to Open Up, and More Noam wrote a blog post that became the top resource on the avoider mentality on Google and in his #1 bestselling book, Mastery of the Mind, he created a system to learn NEW tools and habits to undo the mental wastes that are holding you down. Now, they've been combined together so you can overcome the avoider mentality once and for all. N. Lightstone's book How to Overcome Avoidant Personality Disorder (AvPD) and the Avoider Mentality teaches you: 1. Where your avoider tendencies came from and why avoiders do what they do. 2. How to identify the bad habits and mental traps you're falling into without even knowing it that are keeping you isolated, alone, and from connecting with anyone. 3. How to overcome the 7 common mental traps avoiders fall into. In this book you will learn: How to be completely free of social anxiety, internalize that you're amazing as you are, and know deep down that you deserve just as much love, intimacy, and affection as everyone else (hint: it's all in your head). The REAL reason why you're so scared of your own emotions, connecting with others, being abandoned...and what you can do about it. Why you want intimacy and connection so bad, but are deathly afraid of getting them at the same time. How to get out of those useless thought patterns and shame spirals-the reason you get into them and the one simple way to step out of them. How to let go of past traumas and events that still torment you and hold you back. Dating, Relationships, and Connecting with People Are about to Become the Most Powerful, Rewarding, and Beautiful Moments of Your Life Right now you might feel alone and isolated. You might not like yourself, and might think other people don't either. You want to be unconditionally accepted and loved for who you are-for people to care about you and understand you. But it doesn't have to take years for that to happen. You can start improving RIGHT NOW. Scroll to the top of the page and click the "buy" button now to experience a personal breakthrough as you conquer your fear of intimacy, learn how to authentically connect with anyone, and discover what it's like to never feel like you're alone again.

Avoidant

Author : Jeb Kinnison
ISBN : 0991663667
Genre :
File Size : 89. 50 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Docs
Download : 779
Read : 1316

Get This Book


Jeb Kinnison's previous book on finding a good partner by understanding attachment types ("Bad Boyfriends: Using Attachment Theory to Avoid Mr. (or Ms.) Wrong and Make You a Better Partner") brought lots of readers to JebKinnison.com, where the most asked-about topic was how to deal with avoidant lovers and spouses. There are many readers in troubled marriages now who are looking for help, as well as people already invested in a relationship short of marriage who'd like help deciding if they should stick with it. People in relationships with Avoidants struggle with their lack of responsiveness and inability to tolerate real intimacy. Relationships between an Avoidant and a partner of another attachment type are the largest group of unhappy relationships, and people who love their partners and who may have started families and had children with an Avoidant will work very hard to try to make their relationships work better, out of love for their partner and children as well as their own happiness. The Avoidants in these relationships are more than likely unhappy with the situation as well-retreating into their shells and feeling harassed for being asked to respond with positive feeling when they have little to give. The other reason why so many people are looking for help on this topic is that it is an almost impossible problem. Couples counsellors rarely have the time or knowledge to work with an Avoidant and will often advise the spouse to give up on a Dismissive, especially, whose lack of responsiveness looks like cruelty or contempt (and sometimes it is!) Yet there is some hope-though it may take years and require educating the Avoidant on the patterns of good couples communication, if both partners want to change their patterns toward more secure and satisfying models, it can be done. How can you tell if your partner is avoidant? Does your partner: Seem not to care how you feel? Frequently fail to respond to direct questions or text messages? Accuse you of being too needy or codependent? Talk of some past lover as ideal and compare you to them? Act coldly toward your children and the needy? Remind you that he or she would be fine without you? Withhold sex or affection as punishment? If that sounds familiar, then your partner is likely avoidant. At about 25% of the population, Avoidants have shorter, more troubled relationships, and tend to divorce more frequently and divorce again if remarried. What can be done? Individual therapy for the motivated Avoidant can move their default attachment style toward security, and to the extent that problems have been made worse by an overly clingy and demanding anxious-preoccupied partner, therapy can help there, as well. Partners who read and absorb the lessons of these books will have a head start on noticing and restraining themselves when they are slipping into an unsatisfying communications pattern, and an intellectual understanding of the bad patterns is a step toward unlearning them. Not all difficult Avoidants can be reformed; that depends on both partners, the depth of their problems, and their motivation and ability to change over time. But many troubled marriages and relationships can be greatly improved, and the people in them can learn to be happier, with even modest improvements in understanding how they can best communicate support for each other. For those reading who have not read Bad Boyfriends or are less familiar with attachment types, a beefed-up section on attachment theory and attachment types from "Bad Boyfriends" is included. Regular readers of JebKinnison.com will find edited versions of some relevant material previously posted there."

The Power Of Silence

Author : Colum Kenny
ISBN : 9781780498386
Genre : Psychology
File Size : 34. 86 MB
Format : PDF, Mobi
Download : 755
Read : 525

Get This Book


This book demonstrates that silence is eloquent, powerful, beautiful and even dangerous. It surrounds and permeates our daily lives.Drawing on a wide range of cross-cultural, literary and historical sources, the author explores the uses and abuses of silence. He explains how silence is not associated with solitude alone but has a much broader value within society.The main themes of The Power of Silence are positive and negative uses of silence, and the various ways in which silence has been understood culturally, socially and spiritually. The book's objectives are to equip people with a better appreciation of the value of silence and to enable them to explore its benefits and uses more easily for themselves.

A Secure Base

Author : John Bowlby
ISBN : 9781135070854
Genre : Psychology
File Size : 66. 2 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Docs
Download : 484
Read : 1033

Get This Book


As Bowlby himself points out in his introduction to this seminal childcare book, to be a successful parent means a lot of very hard work. Giving time and attention to children means sacrificing other interests and activities, but for many people today these are unwelcome truths. Bowlby’s work showed that the early interactions between infant and caregiver have a profound impact on an infant's social, emotional, and intellectual growth. Controversial yet powerfully influential to this day, this classic collection of Bowlby’s lectures offers important guidelines for child rearing based on the crucial role of early relationships.

Becoming Attached

Author : Robert Karen
ISBN : 0195115015
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 35. 41 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
Download : 997
Read : 1093

Get This Book


The struggle to understand the infant-parent bond ranks as one of the great quests of modern psychology, one that touches us deeply because it holds so many clues to how we become who we are. How are our personalities formed? How do our early struggles with our parents reappear in the way we relate to others as adults? Why do we repeat with our own children--seemingly against our will--the very behaviors we most disliked about our parents? In Becoming Attached, psychologist and noted journalist Robert Karen offers fresh insight into some of the most fundamental and fascinating questions of emotional life. Karen begins by tracing the history of attachment theory through the controversial work of John Bowlby, a British psychoanalyst, and Mary Ainsworth, an American developmental psychologist, who together launched a revolution in child psychology. Karen tells about their personal and professional struggles, their groundbreaking discoveries, and the recent flowering of attachment theory research in universities all over the world, making it one of the century's most enduring ideas in developmental psychology. In a world of working parents and makeshift day care, the need to assess the impact of parenting styles and the bond between child and caregiver is more urgent than ever. Karen addresses such issues as: What do children need to feel that the world is a positive place and that they have value? Is day care harmful for children under one year? What experiences in infancy will enable a person to develop healthy relationships as an adult?, and he demonstrates how different approaches to mothering are associated with specific infant behaviors, such as clinginess, avoidance, or secure exploration. He shows how these patterns become ingrained and how they reveal themselves at age two, in the preschool years, in middle childhood, and in adulthood. And, with thought-provoking insights, he gives us a new understanding of how negative patterns and insecure attachment can be changed and resolved throughout a person's life. The infant is in many ways a great mystery to us. Every one of us has been one; many of us have lived with or raised them. Becoming Attached is not just a voyage of discovery in child emotional development and its pertinence to adult life but a voyage of personal discovery as well, for it is impossible to read this book without reflecting on one's own life as a child, a parent, and an intimate partner in love or marriage.

Toxic Parents

Author : Susan Forward
ISBN : 9780307575326
Genre : Self-Help
File Size : 80. 89 MB
Format : PDF, Mobi
Download : 227
Read : 270

Get This Book


BONUS: This edition contains an excerpt from Dr. Susan Forward's Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them. When you were a child... Did your parents tell you were bad or worthless? Did your parents use physical pain to discipline you? Did you have to take care of your parents because of their problems? Were you frightened of your parents? Did your parents do anything to you that had to be kept secret? Now that you are an adult... Do your parents still treat you as if you were a child? Do you have intense emotional or physical reactions after spending time with your parents? Do your parents control you with threats or guilt? Do they manipulate you with money? Do you feel that no matter what you do, it's never good enough for your parents? In this remarkable self-help guide, Dr. Susan Forward drawn on case histories and the real-life voices of adult children of toxic parents to help you free yourself from the frustrating patterns of your relationship with your parents -- and discover an exciting new world of self-confidence, inner strength, and emotional independence.

Wired For Love

Author : Stan Tatkin
ISBN : 9781608820597
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 82. 13 MB
Format : PDF, Docs
Download : 134
Read : 212

Get This Book


"What the heck is my partner thinking?" is a common refrain in romantic relationships, and with good reason. Every person is wired for love differently, with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict. The good news is that most people's minds work in predictable ways and respond well to security, attachment, and rituals, making it possible to actually neurologically prime the brain for greater love and fewer conflicts. Wired for Love is a complete insider's guide to understanding a partner's brain and promoting love and trust within a romantic relationship. Readers learn ten scientific principles they can use to avoid triggering fear and panic in their partners, manage their partners' emotional reactions when they do become upset, and recognize when the brain's threat response is hindering their ability to act in a loving way. By learning to use simple gestures and words, readers can learn to put out emotional fires and help their partners feel more safe and secure. The no-fault view of conflict in this book encourages readers to move past a ""warring brain"" mentality and toward a more cooperative ""loving brain"" understanding of the relationship. Based in the sound science of neurobiology, attachment theory, and emotion regulation research, this book is essential reading for couples and others interested in understanding the complex dynamics at work behind love and trust in intimate relationships.

Self Therapy For The Stutterer

Author : Malcolm Fraser
ISBN : 9780933388451
Genre : Self-Help
File Size : 77. 5 MB
Format : PDF
Download : 659
Read : 550

Get This Book


Malcolm Fraser knew from personal experience what the person who stutters is up against. His introduction to stuttering corrective procedures first came at the age of fifteen under the direction of Frederick Martin, M.D., who at that time was Superintendent of Speech Correction for the New York City schools. A few years later, he worked with J. Stanley Smith, L.L.D., a stutterer and philanthropist, who, for altruistic reasons, founded the Kingsley Clubs in Philadelphia and New York that were named after the English author, Charles Kingsley, who also stuttered. The Kingsley Clubs were small groups of adult stutterers who met one night a week to try out treatment ideas then in effect. In fact, they were actually practicing group therapy as they talked about their experiences and exchanged ideas. This exchange gave each of the members a better understanding of the problem. The founder often led the discussions at both clubs. In 1928 Malcolm Fraser joined his older brother Carlyle who founded the NAPA-Genuine Parts Company that year in Atlanta, Georgia. He became an important leader in the company and was particularly outstanding in training others for leadership roles. In 1947, with a successful career under way, he founded the Stuttering Foundation of America. In subsequent years, he added generously to the endowment so that at the present time, endowment income covers over fifty percent of the operating budget. In 1984, Malcolm Fraser received the fourth annual National Council on Communicative Disorders' Distinguished Service Award. The NCCD, a council of 32 national organizations, recognized the Foundation's efforts in "adding to stutterers', parents', clinicians', and the public's awareness and ability to deal constructively with stuttering." Book jacket.

Top Download:

Best Books