conquering shame and codependency 8 steps to freeing the true you

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Conquering Shame And Codependency

Author : Darlene Lancer
ISBN : 9781616495336
Genre : Self-Help
File Size : 63. 14 MB
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A nationally recognized author and codependency expert examines the roots of shame and its connection with codependent relationships. Learn how to heal from their destructive hold by implementing eight steps that will empower the real you, and lead to healthier relationships. Shame: the torment you feel when you’re exposed, humiliated, or rejected; the feeling of not being good enough. It’s a deeply painful and universal emotion, yet is not frequently discussed. For some, shame lurks in the unconscious, undermining self-esteem, destroying confidence, and leading to codependency. These codependent relationships—where we overlook our own needs and desires as we try to care for, protect, or please another—often cover up abuse, addiction, or other harmful behaviors. Shame and codependency feed off one another, making us feel stuck, never able to let go, move on, and become the true self we were meant to be. In Conquering Shame and Codependency, Darlene Lancer sheds new light on shame: how codependents’ feelings and beliefs about shame affect their identity, their behavior, and how shame can corrode relationships, destroying trust and love. She then provides eight steps to heal from shame, learn to love yourself, and develop healthy relationships.

Codependency For Dummies

Author : Darlene Lancer
ISBN : 9781118982099
Genre : Self-Help
File Size : 69. 22 MB
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Your trusted guide to value yourself and break the patterns of codependency Codependency For Dummies, 2nd Edition is the most comprehensive book on the topic to date. Written in plain English and packed with sensitive, authoritative information, it describes the history, symptoms, causes, and relationship dynamics of codependency. The majority of the book is devoted to healing and lays out a clear plan for recovery with exercises, practical advice, and daily reminders to help you know, honor, protect, and express yourself. New to this edition are chapters on working the Twelve Steps to recover from codependency and how therapists/coaches/nurses are affected by codependency. Codependence is primarily a learned behavior from our family of origin. Some cultures have it to a greater degree than others—some still see it as a normal way of living. Yet the costs of codependence can include distrust, faulty expectations, passive-aggressiveness, control, self-neglect, over-focus on others, manipulation, intimacy issues, and a slew of other harmful traits. Codependence causes serious pain and affects the majority of Americans—not just women and loved ones of addicts. Codependency For Dummies, 2nd Edition offers authoritative and trusted guidance on ways to raise your self-esteem, detach and let go, set boundaries, recognize healthy vs. dysfunctional relationships, overcome guilt and resentment, and much more. Helps you break the pattern of conduct that keeps you in harmful relationships Provides trusted guidance to create healthy boundaries, coping skills, and expectations Offers advice for eliminating feelings of guilt, blame, and feeling overly responsible Explains the difference between care-giving and codependent care-taking If you're trapped in the cycle of codependency and looking for help, Codependency For Dummies, 2nd Edition offers trusted advice and a clear plan for recovery.

Letting Go Of Shame

Author : Ronald Potter-Efron
ISBN : 9781592858460
Genre : Self-Help
File Size : 80. 68 MB
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Letting Go of Shame: Understanding How Shame Affects Your Life helps to explain the emotion of shame and its impact on our self-image and relationships. As we identify shame and use recovery skills to work through it, Letting Go of Shame: Understanding How Shame Affects Your Like helps to explain the emotion of shame and its impact on our self-image and relationships. The authors offer us a way that we can personalize a plan of action to help build our self-esteem, and they suggest exercises to help us identify our feelings of shame.

You Re Not Crazy You Re Codependent

Author : Jeanette Elisabeth Menter
ISBN : 0615533469
Genre : Codependency
File Size : 73. 87 MB
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If your life has been affected by addiction (yours or someone else's), abuse, trauma or toxic shaming, you may also be struggling with another invisible problem - codependency. Without your even being aware of the connection to the above issues, it has created additional life-long challenges such as endless guilt, anxiety, perfectionism, need to control, depression, a history of dysfunctional relationships and much more. This easy to understand, interactive book will reveal how codependency has sobotaged you, the lies it created in your beliefs and the truths that expose them. Also included is a Guide to Recovery using simple acts of mindfulness to overcome harmful habits in your thinking, actions and choices that are keeping you from having peace. Once you understand you are not crazy, just coping with the deep-seated effects of codependency, you will be free to create the life you were always meant to have.

Healing Trauma Through Self Parenting

Author : Patricia O'Gorman, Ph.D.
ISBN : 9780757316142
Genre : Medical
File Size : 74. 74 MB
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Presents a self-help guide for overcoming post-traumatic stress disorder and codependency, outlining a twelve-step program focused on promoting healing and the development of independence and self-reliance.

It Wasn T Your Fault

Author : Beverly Engel
ISBN : 9781626251014
Genre : Self-Help
File Size : 66. 41 MB
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Shame is one of the most destructive of human emotions. If you suffered childhood physical or sexual abuse, you may experience such intense feelings of shame that it almost seems to define you as a person. In order to begin healing, it’s important for you to know that it wasn’t your fault. In this gentle guide, therapist and childhood abuse expert Beverly Engel presents a mindfulness and compassion-based therapeutic approach to help you overcome the debilitating shame that keeps you tied to the past. By following the step-by-step exercises in this book, you’ll gain a greater understanding of the root cause of your shame. And by cultivating compassion toward yourself, you will begin to heal and move past your painful experiences. Recent studies show that trauma survivors, particularly those with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) resulting from abuse, can greatly benefit from incorporating elements of self-compassion into their treatment. Furthermore, the practice of self-compassion has been shown to decrease PTSD symptoms, including, self-criticism, thought suppression, and rumination. This book is based on the author’s powerful and effective Compassion Cure program. With this book, you will develop the skills needed to finally put a stop the crippling self-blame that keeps you from moving on and being happy. You’ll learn to focus on your strengths, your courage, and your extraordinary ability to survive. Most of all, you’ll learn to replace shame with its counter emotion—pride.

The Acoa Trauma Syndrome

Author : Tian Dayton
ISBN : 9780757316449
Genre : Psychology
File Size : 77. 15 MB
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Growing up in a home where there is addiction or relationship trauma puts a child at great risk for long-term, post-traumatic stress effects that adversely compromise adult relationships. Bestselling author, psychologist, and psychodramatist Tian Dayton examines this trauma through an exploration of the way the brain and body process frightening or painful emotions and experiences in childhood, and she shows how these traumas can become catalysts for unhealthy, self-medicating behaviors including drug and alcohol abuse, food issues, and sex, gambling, and shopping addictions. Through Dr. Dayton's insightful analysis and thoughtful examination, Adult Children of Alcoholics will learn how and why the pain they experienced in childhood plays out in their adult partnering and parenting, and they will learn how to restore health and happiness through their resilience.

My Life As A Border Collie

Author : Nancy L. Johnston
ISBN : 9781937612009
Genre : Psychology
File Size : 69. 44 MB
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In this fun, inviting look at a serious topic—codependence—Nancy L. Johnston shares the life lessons she learned from her observations of the relationship behaviors exhibited by her pet collie, Daisy: "The book began by my noticing behaviors in Daisy that resemble the codependent behaviors in me, which I have been working to moderate through my recovery. Daily I am struck by our tendencies to attend to others, to herd, to overreact." Johnston's delightful book examines twelve specific behaviors that, in their extreme form, can be codependent. It also offers new information on codependence and help for it, including the latest research-supported findings, so that readers can understand "What am I doing that is not producing the relationship results I really want?" Nancy L. Johnston, MS, LPC, LSATP, is a licensed psychotherapist and licensed substance abuse treatment practitioner in private practice in Lexington, Virginia. She has thirty-three years of clinical experience addressing a wide range of emotional and behavioral issues. Johnston specializes in treating adolescents and adults, and has always had a special interest in addiction and its effects on both individuals and family systems. Her first book, Disentangle: When You've Lost Your Self in Someone Else, was published by Central Recovery Press in 2011.

When Your Partner Has An Addiction

Author : Christopher Kennedy Lawford
ISBN : 9781941631874
Genre : Self-Help
File Size : 84. 81 MB
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Your partner’s addiction takes a toll on both of your lives. That doesn’t mean you should turn your back on the person you love. We’ve been told that staying with a partner who struggles with addiction—whether it be with drugs, alcohol, or addictive behaviors—means that we’re enabling their destructive behavior. That wanting to help them means we’re codependent, and that the best thing for both of us is to walk away from the relationship entirely. But is that true? When Your Partner Has an Addiction challenges the idea that the best chance for recovery—for the addict and their partner—is to walk away. Instead, it makes the revolutionary claim that you, and the love you have for your partner, can be a key part of his or her journey to recovery. Together, addiction activist and bestselling author Christopher Kennedy Lawford and psychotherapist Beverly Engel, MFT, take a fresh look at addiction and codependency—the latest research on what causes them and what the two have in common. Rather than treat addiction or codependency as disease or weakness, When Your Partner Has an Addiction honors the trauma and shame that often lie at their source and shows you how to use your love to combat that shame, allowing you to more effectively support your partner and heal yourself. The research proves that, while you cannot “fix” your partner, you can have a positive impact on their recovery. Whether you suffer from codependency, and whether your partner is already in recovery, When Your Partner Has an Addiction provides you with proven techniques and strategies to drastically improve your relationship and help get your partner the help he needs—without leaving and while taking care of yourself in the process.

It S So Hard To Love You

Author : Bill Klatte
ISBN : 9781608826872
Genre : Self-Help
File Size : 84. 11 MB
Format : PDF
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Smart Strategies for Dealing with People Who Are Really Hard to Love Most of us have someone in our life that we care about, but who is really hard to love: a spouse or sibling with an addiction or anger problem, a parent whose actions frighten or frustrate you, an adult child whom you feel makes the wrong choices over and over, or a friend or other relative who can't get it together. Just because someone you love has a problem, though, doesn't mean you stop loving him or her. You don't want to let go of this person, but you do want to stop getting hurt. It's So Hard to Love You—written by a brother-and-sister team—offers tools that will help you deal with the anguish of loving a difficult person while maintaining a sane relationship with him or her. Using the strategies in this book, you'll start to clearly recognize the negative effects your loved one's behavior is having on your life. You'll learn to accept that this person's actions may not ever change—but that your actions can. You'll find ways to shift your focus from changing the difficult person to changing your reactions to him or her. As you learn to deal with your difficult loved one on your own terms, you'll also learn techniques for managing the possible negative reactions that can arise from your changing relationship.

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