in the event of my untimely demise

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In The Event Of My Untimely Demise

Author : Brian Sack
ISBN : 9780061734540
Genre : Humor
File Size : 83. 93 MB
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When Brian Sack's mother passed away, he was left with a letter and a pink cardigan. The cardigan was promptly placed in a drawer, but the letter was pure gold. In just a few pages of fancy cursive, her posthumous dispatch offered the kind of guidance you would expect from a mother to her young son. And while he didn't necessarily follow all the advice, he never forgot how very important those words—and that letter—were to him. Decades later, on the verge of parenthood himself, Brian decided to write something for his own child, wanting a legacy, and not just a pink cardigan, to leave to his son. But far from the usual collection of advice, Brian has written a sharp, sage, warts-and-all survival guide to life. With quick wit and self-deprecating honesty, Sack draws from his experiences, tapping them for the humor within. Holding nothing back, he: Gives the skinny on relationships—don't let the woman you love wander alone in France Commiserates about the death of the meritocracy—wanting to sing doesn't mean you can Recounts his awkward entry into fatherhood—you'll overcome your aversion to poo Offers firsthand advice—avoid any bipolar lady with a drug-sniffing wonder-cat And argues that the Empire State Building is not a phallic symbol—no matter what the professor said Every chapter takes on subjects ranging from the universal and mundane to the life changing and inevitable. With its funny and heartfelt musings from a father to a son, In the Event of My Untimely Demise is a delightful life primer for all of us.

Untimely Demise

Author : William Dylan Powell
ISBN : 1604336420
Genre : Humor
File Size : 20. 20 MB
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The deadly details of 365 dastardly, mundane, ritualistic and just plain bizarre ways people have murdered one another are revealed in this darkly entertaining--and surprising informative--manual of murder. Killed with a toilet? Deadly belt buckles? Sexed to death? Untimely Demise: A Miscellany of Murder is a daily exploration of the most fascinating ways people have offed one another since the beginning of time. From ninja swords to cyanide, poisons to pistols, each day of the week is covered from Martial Arts Mondays to Sabotage Sundays--and every deadly day in between. Whether you love a good whodunit or solve real-life murders for a living, this daily dose of deadly weapons will shock and amaze you! Or, at least, remind you to lock your doors at night.

The B S Of A

Author : Brian Sack
ISBN : 9781451616736
Genre : Humor
File Size : 22. 32 MB
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WE’RE KNEE DEEP— ARE YOU SHOVEL READY? Politicians who say anything and do nothing . . . People lamenting Constitutional rights they don’t have . . . Protesters equating everyone to Hitler . . . Teeth-gritting partisans! Tax-evading congressmen! Fact-evading Americans! If you’re incredibly disenchanted, if you feel that this great country of ours is suffering from chronic bullsh*t at the federal, state, and local levels, good news: Not only are you in good company, but here’s a book to make you feel a little bit better— THE B. S. OF A.! Whether you voted for “hope” in 2008, or “change” in 2010, odds are you’re feeling a tad despondent. Here at last is a straight-talking, partisan-busting look at politics from humorist Brian Sack, who mercilessly pokes fun at The B.S. of A. with a double helping of objectivity and wit, pulling no punches and giving partisans, politicians, and their politics a well-deserved shellacking. The B.S. of A. takes full advantage of our poorly understood First Amendment to fearlessly cut through the bull on both sides of the aisle and ask serious questions: Why does this enormous country have only two real parties? How does a bad idea become a terrible law with a misleading name? How can you identify the Seven Habits of Highly Partisan People? What’s the deal with this Constitution thing people keep citing? Can we stop comparing people we don’t like to Hitler? You’ll find a handy glossary to thoroughly expand your political vocabulary. And, perhaps most important, you’re guaranteed to finish this book with a complete understanding of how to solve America’s biggest issues—including gun control and abortion!* The B.S. of A.: You’re in it, so get to know it. *Actually, these issues can’t be solved. Their complexity was misunderestimated.

Nooks Crannies

Author : Jessica Lawson
ISBN : 9781481419222
Genre : Juvenile Fiction
File Size : 64. 54 MB
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Eleven-year-old Tabitha Crum, whose parents were just about to abandon her, is invited to the country estate of a wealthy countess along with five other children and told that one of them will become her heir.

An Uninvited Alien Experience A Memory Of Depression

Author : Jorge C. Torrez
ISBN : 9781329974494
Genre : Biography & Autobiography
File Size : 69. 45 MB
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In an "Uninvited Alien Experience," one young man searches for 'normalcy' amidst a world grossly distorted by a disorder of the mind. He is constantly besieged by a roller-coaster of convoluted thoughts and emotions converting his sane world into one huge, chaotic mess. However, underneath the projections manifested by his deteriorating mind, he discovers hope in a tiny corner of his unconscious. But not until he realizes that defeating his illness is not a matter of winning or losing, yet the key to his success is arriving at a consensus-an accord not with himself, but with his Depression.

Marcus Markley

Author : J. A. Green
ISBN : 9781477275498
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 81. 32 MB
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Self-made multi-Billionaire Marcus Markley runs some of the most powerful organizations in the world. He is a shrewd businessman that is not afraid of making power plays. His organization spans the globe with interests in places many corporations would not dare to go. Marcus has a secret. He runs a clandestine organization UBIQUITOUS that carries out orders that are not exactly legal. He started the organization in order to solve the mystery that has surrounded the death of his parents over 20 years ago while on vacation.

Four Strange Stories

Author : Jorge Torrez
ISBN : 9781329939417
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 54. 43 MB
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In a rational world there is the slight potential, every once in a 'blue moon', for man's naturalistic belief system to be slightly altered. As his logical perspective quickly materializes into a conflicting and mind boggling battle to conquer his or her confounding rationality. Conditions that arise from baseless fears and conflicting doubts which linger deep within the darkest abyss of mans' subconscious mind. Promptly, in each one of the Four Strange Stories, elements of the bizarre are fused with the supernatural. A paranormal brew of fictional accounts render man's struggle against his or her psyche. As a consequence, man is forced to temporarily choose one over the other amidst insurmountable odds which could very well end in death.

A Journey Back In Time

Author : Vildred C. Tucker-Dawson
ISBN : 9781426942235
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 45. 89 MB
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A Journey Back in Time presents a collection of thirteen stories about love, hate, greed, redemption, freedom, peace, loneliness, the loss of a loved one, interracial relationships, and acceptance. Each story is relevant to the experiences of African Americans from as far back as the 1860s through the present day. These stories emerged through the research of author Vildred C. Tucker-Dawson into her family history. She discovered that her ancestors had a unique way to allow future generations to connect with the pastthrough these stories, handed down from generation to generation. Several of the short stories are based upon accounts told by the authors elders of her great-grandmother, Mrs. Sarah Pugh-Scott, whom she never met. Sarah and her son, who were both of a mixed racial background, faced challenges throughout their lives that did not prevent them from striving for better lives for their families. Presenting real perspective in the form of fiction, A Journey Back in Time offers food for thought to both youth and adults on African American experiences and history.

Death

Author : George Pendle
ISBN : 9780307395603
Genre : Humor
File Size : 38. 26 MB
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In a zany parody of the confessional memoir, the Grim Reaper tells his own story in an "autobiography" that describes his suicide attempts, struggles with his sexuality, the addiction to life that nearly destroyed him, secrets about the afterlife, and feelings about Adam and Eve, Hitler, Elvis, and others he has encountered during his long career. Original. 20,000 first printing.

Forgotten Fashion

Author : Kate Hahn
ISBN : 1582975396
Genre : Humor
File Size : 58. 20 MB
Format : PDF
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A blend of humor, satire, and fashion sense, this uniquely humorous look at trends in fashion throughout the ages will be the talk of the town. Forgotten Fashion is a fake history book of clothing trends that never really happened, but are based on actual fashion movements from the early 1900s until the present. Each entry examines the life and death of a supposed fashion trend while poking fun at the social climate of the times. &break;&break;With smart humor, a tongue-in-cheek academic tone, and a keen sense of style, this book will appeal to fashionistas, sophisticates, and anyone who keeps up with what's en vogue.

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