in the event of my untimely demise

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In The Event Of My Untimely Demise

Author : Brian Sack
ISBN : 9780061734540
Genre : Humor
File Size : 31. 26 MB
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When Brian Sack's mother passed away, he was left with a letter and a pink cardigan. The cardigan was promptly placed in a drawer, but the letter was pure gold. In just a few pages of fancy cursive, her posthumous dispatch offered the kind of guidance you would expect from a mother to her young son. And while he didn't necessarily follow all the advice, he never forgot how very important those words—and that letter—were to him. Decades later, on the verge of parenthood himself, Brian decided to write something for his own child, wanting a legacy, and not just a pink cardigan, to leave to his son. But far from the usual collection of advice, Brian has written a sharp, sage, warts-and-all survival guide to life. With quick wit and self-deprecating honesty, Sack draws from his experiences, tapping them for the humor within. Holding nothing back, he: Gives the skinny on relationships—don't let the woman you love wander alone in France Commiserates about the death of the meritocracy—wanting to sing doesn't mean you can Recounts his awkward entry into fatherhood—you'll overcome your aversion to poo Offers firsthand advice—avoid any bipolar lady with a drug-sniffing wonder-cat And argues that the Empire State Building is not a phallic symbol—no matter what the professor said Every chapter takes on subjects ranging from the universal and mundane to the life changing and inevitable. With its funny and heartfelt musings from a father to a son, In the Event of My Untimely Demise is a delightful life primer for all of us.

Untimely Demise

Author : William Dylan Powell
ISBN : 1604336420
Genre : Humor
File Size : 57. 86 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
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The deadly details of 365 dastardly, mundane, ritualistic and just plain bizarre ways people have murdered one another are revealed in this darkly entertaining--and surprising informative--manual of murder. Killed with a toilet? Deadly belt buckles? Sexed to death? Untimely Demise: A Miscellany of Murder is a daily exploration of the most fascinating ways people have offed one another since the beginning of time. From ninja swords to cyanide, poisons to pistols, each day of the week is covered from Martial Arts Mondays to Sabotage Sundays--and every deadly day in between. Whether you love a good whodunit or solve real-life murders for a living, this daily dose of deadly weapons will shock and amaze you! Or, at least, remind you to lock your doors at night.

The B S Of A

Author : Brian Sack
ISBN : 9781451616736
Genre : Humor
File Size : 34. 51 MB
Format : PDF
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WE’RE KNEE DEEP— ARE YOU SHOVEL READY? Politicians who say anything and do nothing . . . People lamenting Constitutional rights they don’t have . . . Protesters equating everyone to Hitler . . . Teeth-gritting partisans! Tax-evading congressmen! Fact-evading Americans! If you’re incredibly disenchanted, if you feel that this great country of ours is suffering from chronic bullsh*t at the federal, state, and local levels, good news: Not only are you in good company, but here’s a book to make you feel a little bit better— THE B. S. OF A.! Whether you voted for “hope” in 2008, or “change” in 2010, odds are you’re feeling a tad despondent. Here at last is a straight-talking, partisan-busting look at politics from humorist Brian Sack, who mercilessly pokes fun at The B.S. of A. with a double helping of objectivity and wit, pulling no punches and giving partisans, politicians, and their politics a well-deserved shellacking. The B.S. of A. takes full advantage of our poorly understood First Amendment to fearlessly cut through the bull on both sides of the aisle and ask serious questions: Why does this enormous country have only two real parties? How does a bad idea become a terrible law with a misleading name? How can you identify the Seven Habits of Highly Partisan People? What’s the deal with this Constitution thing people keep citing? Can we stop comparing people we don’t like to Hitler? You’ll find a handy glossary to thoroughly expand your political vocabulary. And, perhaps most important, you’re guaranteed to finish this book with a complete understanding of how to solve America’s biggest issues—including gun control and abortion!* The B.S. of A.: You’re in it, so get to know it. *Actually, these issues can’t be solved. Their complexity was misunderestimated.

The Death Of Yorik Mortwell

Author : Stephen Messer
ISBN : 9780375868580
Genre : Juvenile Fiction
File Size : 81. 63 MB
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Following his death at the hands of fellow twelve-year-old, Lord Thomas, Yorik returns as a ghost to protect his sister from a similar fate but soon learns of ancient magical beings, both good and evil, who are vying for power at the Estate.

Death Of The Queen Of Hearts

Author : Roman A. Clay
ISBN : 9781480823129
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 80. 41 MB
Format : PDF
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“The royal family had plans for Prince James’s twenty-first birthday, but so did James, and they didn’t include the royal family.” On the night of his big celebration, he ducks his royal bodyguards to party with friends, but his plans are sidetracked by a gift given to him, a mysterious letter, addressed to “Bunny.” “Bunny” was a nickname only his mother used to call him. But his mother, Princess Christina, died four years earlier in a suspicious car crash, and conspiracy theories still circulate. James follows the note to the St. Laurent Restaurant, where a stranger leaves him a DVD with shocking information about his mother’s death. So begins James’s perilous journey to uncover the truth about his mother’s untimely demise, but there are those who would stand in his way. Will James find out what happened to Princess Christina and take his place on the throne or will he be doomed to following in his mother’s fatal footsteps?

Free Range Chickens

Author : Simon Rich
ISBN : 1588367320
Genre : Humor
File Size : 75. 45 MB
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In his riotous debut collection, Ant Farm, Simon Rich found humor in some of life’s most desperate situations. Now this former editor of The Harvard Lampoon and current writer for Saturday Night Live has returned to mine more comedy from our hopelessly terrifying world. In the nostalgic opening chapter, Rich recalls his fear of the Tooth Fairy (“Is there a face fairy?”) and his initial reaction to the “Got-your-nose” game (“Please just kill me. Better to die than to live the rest of my life as a monster”). He goes on to present Count Dracula’s desperate Match.com profile (“I am normal human looking for human woman to come to castle. I am normal, regular human”). Later, he gets inside the heads of two firehouse Dalmatians who can’t understand their masters’ compulsion to drive off to horrible fires every day. And in the final chapter, he tackles some of life’s biggest questions: Does God really have a plan for us? Yes, it turns out. Now if only He could remember what it was. . . . Praise for Simon Rich’s Ant Farm “Ant Farm has an imaginative power that can trigger snort-fests. . . . Ferociously creative, this book is for readers craving both smart humor and belly laughs.” –People (four stars) “Savagely funny.” –The New York Times “Hilarious. Open this book anywhere, begin reading, and you will laugh.” –Jon Stewart “Ant Farm is what all humor books should be: full of brief, high-concept musings that you wish you’d thought of yourself.” –Time Out New York “A satirical salmagundi that bites back . . . Imaginative premises abound. . . . As unpredictable as YouTube, as in your face as MySpace.” –Publishers Weekly From the Hardcover edition.

It S Not About The Bike

Author : Lance Armstrong
ISBN : 0425179613
Genre : Biography & Autobiography
File Size : 39. 45 MB
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The champion cyclist recounts his diagnosis with cancer, the grueling treatments during which he was given a less than twenty percent chance for survival, his surprising victory in the 1999 Tour de France, and the birth of his son.

The Professional Counselor S Desk Reference

Author : Mark A. Stebnicki, PhD, LCP, DCMHS, CRC, CCM
ISBN : 0826119131
Genre : Psychology
File Size : 67. 75 MB
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Named an Outstanding Academic Title for 2009 byChoice! "Marini and Stebnicki, both professors and scholars in rehabilitation counseling, have compiled an extremely useful and practical counseling resource covering a variety of topics...[U]ndergraduates, graduate students, and new counselors will find this a valuable tool....This unique volume is a great addition for college and university libraries...Highly recommended." ---Choice "An excellent resource for the counseling student as well as the practicing counselor. It is well-written and comprehensive without being overwhelming. A must for every counselor's and future counselor's library!" --Donna Falvo, PhD, CRC, Professor, The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill Medical School "I found the chapters to be well-written, organized in a clear manner, and presented in a balanced wayÖ.This is a reference work that people will want to keep." --Gerald Corey, EdD, ABPP, Professor, California State University (From the Foreword) The Professional Counselor's Desk Reference (PCDR) is the first resource of its kind, serving as an authoritative guide for both pre-professionals working towards counselor licensure and certification, as well as seasoned counselors, counselor educators, clinical supervisors, psychologists, and social workers. Drs. Marini and Stebnicki present this quick, user-friendly desk reference guide based on the core content and knowledge areas outlined in both the Council for Accreditation of Counseling and Related Education Programs (CACREP) and Council on Rehabilitation Education (CORE) accreditation standards. With contributions from 95 experts in counselor education, research, and practice, this book includes: Bulleted "how to" strategies for working with clients under various models in counseling and psychology Easy-to-read tables, graphics, and figures to capture a holistic picture of specific client issues Guidelines for conducting interviews and assessments with culturally diverse clients, as well as treatment protocols that suggest evidence-based practices Discussions on counselor impairments such as empathy fatigue, and developing a plan of self-care to prevent counselor burnout A comprehensive self-exam of 323 multiple-choice items based on the CORE/CACREP core content and knowledge areas for counselor education and training This invaluable reference guide is the most current source related to professional counseling issues, ethics, theories, and practices. Marini and Stebnicki provide a wide range of culturally diverse treatment approaches that will expand the counseling profession's knowledge, awareness, and skills.

Marcus Markley

Author : J. A. Green
ISBN : 9781477275498
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 58. 44 MB
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Self-made multi-Billionaire Marcus Markley runs some of the most powerful organizations in the world. He is a shrewd businessman that is not afraid of making power plays. His organization spans the globe with interests in places many corporations would not dare to go. Marcus has a secret. He runs a clandestine organization UBIQUITOUS that carries out orders that are not exactly legal. He started the organization in order to solve the mystery that has surrounded the death of his parents over 20 years ago while on vacation.

A Journey Back In Time

Author : Vildred C. Tucker-Dawson
ISBN : 9781426942235
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 90. 26 MB
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A Journey Back in Time presents a collection of thirteen stories about love, hate, greed, redemption, freedom, peace, loneliness, the loss of a loved one, interracial relationships, and acceptance. Each story is relevant to the experiences of African Americans from as far back as the 1860s through the present day. These stories emerged through the research of author Vildred C. Tucker-Dawson into her family history. She discovered that her ancestors had a unique way to allow future generations to connect with the pastthrough these stories, handed down from generation to generation. Several of the short stories are based upon accounts told by the authors elders of her great-grandmother, Mrs. Sarah Pugh-Scott, whom she never met. Sarah and her son, who were both of a mixed racial background, faced challenges throughout their lives that did not prevent them from striving for better lives for their families. Presenting real perspective in the form of fiction, A Journey Back in Time offers food for thought to both youth and adults on African American experiences and history.

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