lords and ladies a novel of discworld

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Although they may feature witches and wizards, vampires and dwarves, along with the occasional odd human, Terry Pratchett's bestselling Discworld novels are grounded firmly in the modern world. Taking humorous aim at all our foibles, each novel reveals our true character and nature. It's a dreamy midsummer's night in the Kingdom of Lancre. But music and romance aren't the only things filling the air. Magic and mischief are afoot, threatening to spoil the royal wedding of King Verence and his favorite witch, Magrat Garlick. Invaded by some Fairie Trash, soon it won't be only champagne that's flowing through the streets ...

Lords and Ladies is composed of two novellas filled with medieval adventure, sweet romance, bold men, feisty women, hot sex, and firm spankings. UNDER SIEGE BY RENEE ROSE For Lady Camilla, the only thing worse than managing Falconworth castle on her own would be her overlord discovering that she is a widow and marrying her off to his wretched nephew. Keeping her husband's death a secret is a top priority, right up there with ensuring that troops from a rival castle don’t break down her curtain wall gate with their battering ram. Yet when a devilishly handsome knight by the name of Sir Balen rides to her rescue, she is reluctant to turn over the control she has become accustomed to wielding. The attraction between them is palpable, but his arrogant assumption of the position and duties of her late husband irritates her, especially because those duties seem to include spanking her bare bottom! Can she swallow her pride and propose the marriage which she knows would be best for all involved, or will her stubbornness cost her and the people of Falconworth dearly? QUITE DECIDED BY KOREY MAE JOHNSON When eighteen-year-old Wenda discovers that she is to be married off to a nobleman easily old enough to be her grandfather, she concocts a desperate plan to avoid that fate. Lord Talus, who was like an older brother to her growing up, will marry her instead—she is quite decided on it. The only problem with this plan is the fact that Talus refuses it outright. Wenda has grown into a beautiful woman, but he has known her since she was a child and he cannot bring himself to expose her to the dark, hungry, sexual side of him which she would see as his wife. Talus underestimates the lengths to which Wenda will go to carry out her plan, however, and he finds a marriage with her forced upon him by false allegations that he has stolen her maidenhood in the night. For her part Wenda soon learns, to her dismay, that her new husband is well within his rights to bare his young wife’s bottom and chastise her firmly for her scheming. Moreover, he intends to thoroughly enjoy every curve of her beautiful body once he feels the time is right to have his way with his new bride. Publisher’s Note: Lords and Ladies contains two erotic novellas which include both consensual and non-consensual spankings, graphic sexual scenes, and more. If such material offends you, please don’t buy this book.

The fairies are back - but this time they don't just want your teeth. It's Midsummer Night - no time for dreaming. Because sometimes, when there's more than one reality at play, too much dreaming can make the walls between them come tumbling down. And there's usually a damned good reason for there being walls between them in the first place - to keep things out. Things who want to make mischief and play havoc with the natural order. Granny Weatherwax and her tiny coven are up against real elves. And even in a world of dwarfs, wizards, trolls, Morris dancers and the odd orang-utan, this is going to cause real trouble. With lots of hey-nonny-nonny and blood all over the place.

“Pratchett . . . has a satirist's instinct for the absurd and a cartoonist's eye for the telling detail." —Daily Telegraph (London) “The purely funniest English writer since Wodehouse.” —Washington Post Book World Sam Vimes, watch commander of Ankh-Morpork, is at long last taking a much-needed (and well deserved) vacation. But, of course, this is Discworld®, where nothing goes as planned—and before Vimes can even change his cardboard-soled boots for vacationer’s slippers, the gruff watch commander soon finds himself enmeshed in a fresh fiasco fraught with magic, cunning, daring, and (for the reader more than for poor Vimes) endless hilarity. Did he really expect time off? As Vimes himself says in Feet of Clay, “there’s some magical creature called ‘overtime,’ only no one’s even seen its footprints.” Following the New York Times bestselling Unseen Academichals, Terry Pratchett delivers an enthralling new tale from a place of insuperable adventure: Discworld. Discworld® is a registered trademark.

'I thought: opera, how hard can it be? Songs. Pretty girls dancing. Nice scenery. Lots of people handing over cash. Got to be better than the cut-throat world of yoghurt, I thought. Now everwhere I go there's...' Death, to be precise. And plenty of it. In unpleasant variations. This isn't real life - it's worse. This is the Opera House, Ankh-Morpork...a huge, rambling building, where innocent young sopranos are lured to their destiny by a strangely-familiar evil mastermind in a mask and evening dress, with a penchant for lurking in shadows, occasional murder, and sending little notes full of maniacal laughter and exclamation marks. Opera can do that to a man. But Granny Weatherwax, Discworld's most famous witch, is in the audience. And she doesn't hold with that sort of thing. So there's going to be trouble (but nevertheless a good evenin's entertainment with murders you can really hum...). And the show MUST go on.

The Lancre Witches, Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg, are the Discworld's only hope of rescue when elves threaten to take control with their hypnotic glamour. Standing stones; wizards; Morris men and Rude Mechanicals; country lore and ancient magic all feature in this adaptation.

Characters: 21 males, 15 females, Plus extras Scenic Requirements: Unit Set The de Magpyrs are the sort of vampires that would have Count Dracula spinning in his grave: modern, forward-looking and no longer afraid of holy water, garlic, religious symbols or, indeed, of anything else. This makes them very, very dangerous. Luckily for the Discworld, the three Lancre witches are on hand - and the battle is on!

A new stage adaptation of one of Pratchett's best-selling novels The Monstrous Regiment in question is made up of a vampire (reformed and off the blood, thank you), a troll, Igor (who is only too happy to sew you a new leg if you aren't too particular about previous ownership), a collection of misfits and a young woman discovers that a pair of socks shoved down her pants is a good way to open up doors in a man's army."One of the funniest English authors alive" (Independent)

Terry Pratchett's final Discworld novel, and the fifth to feature the witch Tiffany Aching. A SHIVERING OF WORLDS Deep in the Chalk, something is stirring. The owls and the foxes can sense it, and Tiffany Aching feels it in her boots. An old enemy is gathering strength. This is a time of endings and beginnings, old friends and new, a blurring of edges and a shifting of power. Now Tiffany stands between the light and the dark, the good and the bad. As the fairy horde prepares for invasion, Tiffany must summon all the witches to stand with her. To protect the land. Her land. There will be a reckoning. . . . THE FINAL DISCWORLD® NOVEL

'A foot on the neck is nine points of the law' There are many who say that the art of diplomacy is an intricate and complex dance. There are others who maintain that it's merely a matter of who carries the biggest stick. The oldest and most inscrutable (not to mention heavily fortified) empire on the Discworld is in turmoil, brought about by the revolutionary treatise What I did on My Holidays. Workers are uniting, with nothing to lose but their water buffaloes; warlords are struggling for power - and what the nation wants, to avoid terrible doom for everyone, is a wizard. Rincewind is not the Disc’s premier wizard – in fact, he can’t even spell ‘wizard’ – but no-one specified whether competence was an issue. And they do have a very big stick... Mighty Battles! Revolution! Death! War! (And his sons Terror and Panic and daughter Clancy).

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