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Operation Trumpsformation

Author : Ross O'Carroll-Kelly
ISBN : 9781844883837
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 28. 16 MB
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'Our nation's great satirist ... the most sustained feat of comic writing in Irish literature' Irish Times It's the end of the world as Ross knows it ... this time, there's no way of escaping another monumental fock-up! Sorcha had thrown me out of the family home - this time apparently for good. And yet that was the least of my worries ... My old dear was in prison, accused of murdering her second husband. My sons were showing an unhealthy interest in - someone call social services - soccer! And my daughter wanted everyone to call her Eddie. But don't even go there! On top of all that, a blond wig discovered in a dusty attic, had given my old man delusions of power. Suddenly, he was running for election, promising to tear up the bailout deal and take Ireland out of Europe. And that's to say nothing of his secret plan for Ireland's second city ... But shush! Don't mention the wall!

Ross O Carroll Kelly The Miseducation Years

Author : Ross O'Carroll-Kelly
ISBN : 1847178405
Genre :
File Size : 51. 19 MB
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A new edition featuring a new introduction from Paul Howard.Ross O'Carroll-Kelly is a renowned satirical Irish character who appears in a regular column in The Irish Times. This instalment covers Ross's last two years at Castlerock College and his Leinster Senior Cup victory. 'So there I was, roysh, putting the 'in' in 'in crowd', hanging out, pick of the babes, bills from the old pair to fund the lifestyle I, like, totally deserve. But being a schools rugby legend has its downsides, roysh...'

Game Of Throw Ins

Author : Ross O'Carroll-Kelly
ISBN : 0241970458
Genre :
File Size : 38. 51 MB
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I was a rugby player with a great future behind me. A 35-year-old father-of-five with an expanding waistline, who was trying to survive the bloody battlefield we call everyday life. My son was locked in a violent turf war with a rival Love/Hate tour operator, my daughter was in love with a boy who looked like Justin Bieber and my old dear was about to walk up the aisle with a 92-year-old billionaire who thought it was still 1936. I was, like, staring down the barrel of middle age with the contentment of knowing that I was the greatest Irish rugby player who no one in Ireland had ever actually heard of. Until a chance conversation with an old Jesuit missionary made me realize that it wasn't enough. I was guided, as if by GPS, to a muddy field in - let's be honest - Ballybrack. And there I finally discovered my destiny - to keep a struggling Seapoint team in Division 2B of the All Ireland League. Or die trying.

This Champagne Mojito Is The Last Thing I Own

Author : Ross O'Carroll-Kelly
ISBN : 9780141918631
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 24. 29 MB
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Ross O'Carroll-Kelly thought he had it all: Nice gaff, cool cor, plenty of dosh, a stake in Dublin's trendiest nightclub and a face that made boyfriends jealous. To say nothing of a beautiful wife and kids ... All that remained was for him to totally fock it up: And I mean, totally ... But did he see it coming? Of course not - too busy using his killer lines on the Seoige sisters: And then it hit me, all at once, on a lonely night in the Ice Bar ...

Little Nothing

Author : Marisa Silver
ISBN : 9780698146808
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 33. 57 MB
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A Huffington Post Book Club Suggestion • An O: The Oprah Magazine Fall Pick • A LitHub Book You Should Read This September • One of The Millions' "Most Anticipated" for 2016 “Marisa Silver’s beguiling new novel Little Nothing is a powerful exploration of the relationship between our changeable bodies and our just as malleable identities…Silver’s storytelling skills are finely matched to her themes…meditative passages bloom with life.” —Matt Bell, The New York Times Book Review A stunning, provocative new novel from New York Times bestselling author Marisa Silver, Little Nothing is the story of a girl, scorned for her physical deformity, whose passion and salvation lie in her otherworldly ability to transform herself and the world around her. In an unnamed country at the beginning of the last century, a child called Pavla is born to peasant parents. Her arrival, fervently anticipated and conceived in part by gypsy tonics and archaic prescriptions, stuns her parents and brings outrage and scorn from her community. Pavla has been born a dwarf, beautiful in face, but as the years pass, she grows no farther than the edge of her crib. When her parents turn to the treatments of a local charlatan, his terrifying cure opens the floodgates of persecution for Pavla. Little Nothing unfolds across a lifetime of unimaginable, magical transformation in and out of human form, as an outcast girl becomes a hunted woman whose ultimate survival depends on the most startling transfiguration of them all. Woven throughout is the journey of Danilo, the young man entranced by Pavla, obsessed only with protecting her. Part allegory about the shifting nature of being, part subversive fairy tale of love in all its uncanny guises, Little Nothing spans the beginning of a new century, the disintegration of ancient superstitions, and the adoption of industry and invention. With a cast of remarkable characters, a wholly original story, and extraordinary, page-turning prose, Marisa Silver delivers a novel of sheer electricity. From the Hardcover edition.

The Teenage Dirtbag Years

Author : Paul Howard
ISBN : 0862788498
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 24. 55 MB
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Another, like, un-focking-missable book from Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

Nama Mia

Author : Paul Howard
ISBN : 1844882268
Genre : Dublin (Ireland)
File Size : 53. 62 MB
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It was no country for young men. Or women . . . Unemployment, emigration and do-it-yourself hair colour kits were once again a fact of life. Taxes were on the up, the IMF were on the way and there was a cash for gold outlet in Foxrock Village. But the signs for recovery were good - for me, at least. I was the chief executive of one of the few businesses turning a profit in this town, a shredding company helping to dispose of the Celtic Tiger's dirty little secrets. And I was getting plenty of love action - as the boy-toy of an attractive sixty-year-old woman who was totally rolling in it. I never imagined myself ending up as a gigolo. But, as the saying goes, where there's a will, there's a way-hey-hey! With presents galore, sex on demand and a hot meal on the table every night, life was storting to look up again. All I had to do to aovid focking it up was to keep my chinos buttoned. And, well, you can probably guess how that went. Praise for Ross O'Carroll-Kelly: 'Side-achingly funny' Sunday Independent 'Razor sharp, magnificently plotted and an utter joy to read' Irish Mail on Sunday 'Will leave you with pains in your cheeks from laughing' RTÉ Guide 'A smile per paragraph, a chuckle per page, and at least one belly laugh per chapter' Hot Press

Dancing With The Tsars

Author : ROSS. O'CARROLL-KELLY
ISBN : 0241978335
Genre :
File Size : 68. 24 MB
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I felt like I was living in a world teetering on the brink ... Life as a stay-in-bed husband turned out to be a lot more complicated than I expected. My wife was pregnant with a baby that possibly wasn't mine. My old man was engaged in a war with the feminist movement that he was never going to win. And my old dear was making a lot of unexplained trips to Russia. Throw into the mix an eldest son with a possible sex addiction and three infant sons who were so thick they made me look like Edward Einstein. I might have actually gone over the edge if it wasn't for the belief of my daughter and the challenge of helping her win the greatest prize that South Dublin has to offer - the Strictly Mount Anville glitter ball.

Oh My God What A Complete Aisling The Novel

Author : Emer McLysaght
ISBN : 0717175537
Genre : Chick lit
File Size : 49. 42 MB
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You loved Aisling online, now get ready to love the novel. Emer McLysaght and Sarah Breen, the creators of the much-loved Aisling character and the popular Facebook page 'Oh My God, What a Complete Aisling', bring Aisling to life in their novel about the quintessential country girl in the big smoke. Aisling is twenty-eight and she's a complete ... Aisling. She lives at home in Ballygobbard (or Ballygobackwards, as some gas tickets call it) with her parents and commutes to her good job at PensionsPlus in Dublin. Aisling goes out every Saturday night with her best friend Majella, who is a bit of a hames (she's lost two phones already this year - Aisling has never lost a phone). They love hoofing into the Coors Light if they're 'Out', or the vodka and Diet Cokes if they're 'Out Out'. Ais spends two nights a week at her boyfriend John's. He's from down home and was kiss number seventeen at her twenty-first. But Aisling wants more. She wants the ring on her finger. She wants the hen with the willy straws. She wants out of her parents' house, although she'd miss Mammy turning on the electric blanket like clockwork and Daddy taking her car 'out for a spin' and bringing it back full of petrol. When a week in Tenerife with John doesn't end with the expected engagement, Aisling calls a halt to things and soon she has surprised herself and everyone else by agreeing to move into a three-bed in Portobello with stylish Sadhbh from HR and her friend, the mysterious Elaine. Newly single and relocated to the big city, life is about to change utterly for this wonderful, strong, surprising and funny girl, who just happens to be a complete Aisling.

Wikibeaks

Author : Dustin the Turkey
ISBN : 1848272448
Genre :
File Size : 62. 53 MB
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Wikibeaks is the first book from Ireland's biggest megastar, Dustin The Turkey. Destined to see Dustin's name added to the long list of Irish literary greats (Joyce, Yeats, Swift,Tobin and Pippa) it will see the feathered one take his mighty pen to the Ireland he's helped shape over his 25 years as a national treasure. Part autobiography and part cheap cash-in, Wikibeaks will be ALL funny. Dustin will reveal the truth behind his life at the centre of Irish music, politics, television and comedy. He'll tell all about his love life and reveal the real reason he had Ray D'Arcy fired after catching him in the stationery cupboard with Shirley Temple Bar's Ma. With a foreword from Julian Lasagne himself, Wikibeaks will take the publishing world by storm as many of Dustin's loyal fans find themselves in bookshops for the very first time, robbing copies of a book that will in time make its way on to The Leaving Cert. Printed on paper from the very same tree that RTE carved Pat Kenny from, this won't just be the publishing event of the decade, it will be so much more, triggering Britain to stop Brexiting, as instead they see sense and offer themselves over to Ireland via acomplicated tax deal with Apple and Bono, Wikibeaks will be for Irish publishing what the comments section on the journal.ie has been for free speech.

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