texts from dog 2017 day to day calendar

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Texts From Dog

Author : October Jones
ISBN : 9780544077744
Genre : Humor
File Size : 82. 30 MB
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Presents a humorous collection of texts between man and dog.

Texts From Dog

Author : October Jones
ISBN : 9780544080065
Genre : Humor
File Size : 21. 71 MB
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My dog sends me texts. Yeah. It’s weird. When October Jones figured out he could send text messages to himself on his mobile phone, he naturally decided that the best use of this discovery was to send passive-aggressive messages to himself under the guise of his bulldog. And so the exasperating, slightly delusional, and utterly endearing Dog and his alter-ego BatDog were born. Texts from Dog features Dog’s attempts to keep the neighborhood safe from the likes of Mr. Postman and his arch-nemesis Cat-Cat—he has managed to only smash three TVs and a patio door in the process. And in between crime fighting sprees and run-ins with the squirrel mafia, there are romantic interludes with pillows, fetch sessions gone terribly awry, and the abusive banter only a bromance between man and his text-savvy dog can spawn. For those of us who have ever had a conversation with a pet in our heads, Texts from Dog will make you laugh out loud and perhaps even make you think twice about leaving your pet home alone for the day.

Texts From Mittens

Author : Angie Bailey
ISBN : 9781460380802
Genre : Humor
File Size : 43. 43 MB
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Texts from Mittens is a series of text message conversations between a snappy, self-absorbed housecat named Mittens and his long-suffering human, a single woman who works away from home during the day. Mittens relentlessly hassles his human all day long, while only taking breaks to watch Judge Judy, hang with his best friend Stumpy, complain about the antics of Drunk Patty the neighbor, ask Grandma for money to buy useless items from QVC, and harass the "filthy beast" dog, Phil. Angie Bailey is an award-winning writer and blogger, humorist, and professional member of the Cat Writers' Association. Her primary blog, Catladyland, has won many awards, and her humor writing is featured nearly daily on Catster.com, one of the most popular cat sites on the Web. She loves to photograph her cats in silly poses and sleeps with one eye open. And yes, she has three cats. "Each installment of Texts From Mittens is like a little gift to brighten your day!" —Kate Benjamin, Hauspanther founder and co-author of Catification with Jackson Galaxy "Texts From Mittens makes me wish my cat had thumbs! This is a hilarious book; Angie Bailey has done it again!" —Jeremy Greenberg, Author of Sorry I Barfed on Your Bed "We all knew that cats were hilarious, but Ms. Bailey's sardonic cat quips really take their mannerisms, attitude and occasional apathy to another level." —Susan Michals, Curator of Cat Art Show Los Angeles Come home! There's an emergency! What?? Are you OK? My dish is half empty! I'll be home soon. You wish starvation upon me! Stop being dramatic. Am weeak. Caan hasrdly tyyppe. Are you going to wear those black pants on your bed? Yes. I have a date. They're comfortable. Mittens, get off my pants! FYI: Poly-blend makes your butt look big

What S Your Poo Telling You

Author : Josh Richman
ISBN : 0811857824
Genre : Health & Fitness
File Size : 42. 3 MB
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With universal appeal (everyone poops, after all), this witty, illustrated description of over two dozen dookies (each with a medical explanation written by a doctor) details what one can learn about health and well-being by studying what's in the bowl. A floater? It's probably due to a buildup of gas. Now think back on last night's dinner, a burrito perhaps? . . .All the greatest hits are here: The Log Jam, The Glass Shard, The Deja Poo, The Hanging Chad . . . the list goes on. Sidebars, trivia, over 60 euphemisms for number 2, and unusual case histories all make this the ultimate bathroom reader. Who knew you could learn so much from your poo?

Sorry I Pooped In Your Shoe

Author : Jeremy Greenberg
ISBN : 9781449407896
Genre : Humor
File Size : 74. 52 MB
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Offering doggie logic and practical puppy-to-person advice, this charming book will have dog lovers rolling on the floor laughing with their pets, while learning what those wagging tails and puppy dog eyes are really saying. From an impassioned plea to stop the silly nicknames, to an attempt to skip a bath, to explanations for stolen shoes and swiped sandwiches, Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe offers a pooch's perspective on common canine vs. human cohabitation conundrums, and lovingly reveals that, when it comes to understanding man's best friend, man could learn some new tricks of his own. "You clearly aren't aware of how delightful it is to sleep in another doggie's funk, or you'd let me on the bed with you every night." "You said, 'Not on the Couch.' That's why I'm on the recliner." "I apologise for being caught stealing your bacon, and I promise not to get caught in the future." "Since you don't walk me anymore, I didn't think you'd mind if I pooped in your shoe."

Awkward Family Photos

Author : Mike Bender
ISBN : 9780307592293
Genre : Humor
File Size : 68. 33 MB
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Presents awkward photos of families, accompanied by humorous captions and stories about awkward and amusing family moments, and organized into such categories as pets, birthdays, and holidays.

Throw The Damn Ball

Author : R. D. Rosen
ISBN : 9780698141223
Genre : Humor
File Size : 75. 42 MB
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A hilarious collection of poetry by dogs- perfect for lovers of literature and pups alike “Dogs seldom make passes At dogs passing gasses.” Are these the words of Dorothy Parker? Ogden Nash? Nope, the author is Sparky from Milton, Pennsylvania. Sparky, Snowy, Tucker, Louie, these canine laureates have written a volume of poetry displaying the brilliance and wit we've always suspected our dogs were hiding from us. They also, it turns out, revere the human geniuses who came before them, as you’ll see with “There Is No Frigate Like A Pavement” - an homage to Emily Dickinson - and “Do Not Go Gentle.” Yes, Dylan Thomas would love it.

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