texts from dog 2017 day to day calendar

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Texts From Dog

Author : October Jones
ISBN : 9780544080065
Genre : Humor
File Size : 88. 31 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
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He’s a dog with a phone . . . My dog sends me texts. Yeah. It’s weird. When October Jones figured out he could send text messages to himself on his mobile phone, he naturally decided that the best use of this discovery was to send passive-aggressive messages to himself under the guise of his bulldog. And so the exasperating, slightly delusional, and utterly endearing Dog and his alter-ego, BatDog, were born. Texts from Dog features Dog’s attempts to keep the neighborhood safe from the likes of Mr. Postman and his arch-nemesis Cat-Cat—he has managed to only smash three TVs and a patio door in the process. And in between crime fighting sprees and run-ins with the squirrel mafia, there are romantic interludes with pillows, fetch sessions gone terribly awry, and the abusive banter only a bromance between man and his text-savvy dog can spawn. For those of us who have ever had a conversation with a pet in our heads, Texts from Dog will make you laugh out loud and perhaps even make you think twice about leaving your pet home alone for the day.

Crusoe The Celebrity Dachshund

Author : Ryan Beauchesne
ISBN : 9781250074393
Genre : Humor
File Size : 61. 5 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
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What? You've never heard of Crusoe, the Celebrity Dachshund?! You must be living under a rock!... Or at least that's what Crusoe thinks. Crusoe may be a small dog, but he's a big deal. He's the self-proclaimed "wiener dog who thinks he's more of a celebrity than he really is" (Until now!) and the star of his own wildly popular blog of the same name, winner of the 2013 and 2014 Best Pet Blog Award as well as the Most Humorous Blog and Best Blog of the Year at the 2015 Bloggies. Crusoe is talented, ridiculously photogenic, and proud of his larger-than-life personality, stunning fashion sense, and insatiable penchant for whimsy, as his many thousands of loyal followers can attest. Perhaps you know him better by his infamous alter ego, BATDOG? We thought so. Crusoe is so excited to share his wit and wisdom with all of his adoring fans. He is certain that his first book, featuring hundreds of photos, funny stories, delicious recipes, and helpful tips will make the perfect gift for dog-lovers of all ages.

Texts From Mittens

Author : Angie Bailey
ISBN : 9781460380802
Genre : Humor
File Size : 60. 65 MB
Format : PDF
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Texts from Mittens is a series of text message conversations between a snappy, self-absorbed housecat named Mittens and his long-suffering human, a single woman who works away from home during the day. Mittens relentlessly hassles his human all day long, while only taking breaks to watch Judge Judy, hang with his best friend Stumpy, complain about the antics of Drunk Patty the neighbor, ask Grandma for money to buy useless items from QVC, and harass the "filthy beast" dog, Phil. Angie Bailey is an award-winning writer and blogger, humorist, and professional member of the Cat Writers' Association. Her primary blog, Catladyland, has won many awards, and her humor writing is featured nearly daily on Catster.com, one of the most popular cat sites on the Web. She loves to photograph her cats in silly poses and sleeps with one eye open. And yes, she has three cats. "Each installment of Texts From Mittens is like a little gift to brighten your day!" —Kate Benjamin, Hauspanther founder and co-author of Catification with Jackson Galaxy "Texts From Mittens makes me wish my cat had thumbs! This is a hilarious book; Angie Bailey has done it again!" —Jeremy Greenberg, Author of Sorry I Barfed on Your Bed "We all knew that cats were hilarious, but Ms. Bailey's sardonic cat quips really take their mannerisms, attitude and occasional apathy to another level." —Susan Michals, Curator of Cat Art Show Los Angeles Come home! There's an emergency! What?? Are you OK? My dish is half empty! I'll be home soon. You wish starvation upon me! Stop being dramatic. Am weeak. Caan hasrdly tyyppe. Are you going to wear those black pants on your bed? Yes. I have a date. They're comfortable. Mittens, get off my pants! FYI: Poly-blend makes your butt look big

Peanut Butter Dogs

Author : Greg Murray
ISBN : 9781423646662
Genre : Photography
File Size : 67. 15 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Mobi
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The perfect gift for any dog-lover, and a must-have for any dog owner; no bones about it, these Peanut Butter Dogs will make your day. Yorkies, Retrievers, Pit Bulls, Great Danes, French Bulldogs, and more! This winsome collection of photographs covers more than 140 lovable pups, most of them rescues, in expressions of peanut butter bliss. Names, ages, and brief bios of each dog accompany their portraits. Greg Murray is an award-winning photographer and rescue animal advocate. His work has been featured in Huffington Post, Daily Mail UK, Mirror UK, Fox News Network, Cleveland NBC, CBS & FOX, Cleveland Magazine, Cleveland.com, Buzzfeed, USA Today and various other media outlets throughout the world. He lives in Ohio, with his wife and their two rescue dogs.

Yoga Dogs

Author : Dan Borris
ISBN : 9781613120934
Genre : Health & Fitness
File Size : 21. 7 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Docs
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Learn how to sit, stay, and roll over with this fully illustrated, “delightful” guide to yoga starring man’s best friend (Shutterbug magazine). Inspired by a friend’s mastiff who would imitate his master’s morning yoga routine, photographer Dan Borris created Yoga Dogs, a full-color collection of forty-five different dogs and puppies doing human yoga poses. Don’t worry: No animals were harmed during the making of these images; their extreme flexibility is the result of clever digital trickery. The curious, humorous, and distinctly original pictures are paired with useful information about the poses, as well as some funny canine meditations. “A fresh and highly entertaining visual treat,” Yoga Dogs is perfect for any yogi of the two or four-legged variety (Shutterbug magazine).

Dog Shaming

Author : Pascale Lemire
ISBN : 9780385349345
Genre : Humor
File Size : 25. 22 MB
Format : PDF, ePub
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Based on the web phenomenon Dogshaming and containing photos that are all-new and exclusive to the book, this hilarious album showcases adorable snapshots of shamed pups confessing their biggest - and grossest - sins.

Heart Of A Dog

Author : Mikhail Bulgakov
ISBN : 9780802190031
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 44. 4 MB
Format : PDF, ePub
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I first read Mikhail Bulgakov's The Master and Margarita on a balcony of the Hotel Metropole in Saigon on three summer evenings in 1971. The tropical air was heavy and full of the smells of cordite and motorcycle exhaust and rotting fish and wood-fire stoves, and the horizon flared ambiguously, perhaps from heat lightning, perhaps from bombs. Later each night, as was my custom, I would wander out into the steamy back alleys of the city, where no one ever seemed to sleep, and crouch in doorways with the people and listen to the stories of their culture and their ancestors and their ongoing lives. Bulgakov taught me to hear something in those stories that I had not yet clearly heard. One could call it, in terms that would soon thereafter gain wide currency, "magical realism". The deadpan mix of the fantastic and the realistic was at the heart of the Vietnamese mythos. It is at the heart of the present zeitgeist. And it was not invented by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, as wonderful as his One Hundred Years of Solitude is. Garcia Marquez's landmark work of magical realism was predated by nearly three decades by Bulgakov's brilliant masterpiece of a novel. That summer in Saigon a vodka-swilling, talking black cat, a coven of beautiful naked witches, Pontius Pilate, and a whole cast of benighted writers of Stalinist Moscow and Satan himself all took up permanent residence in my creative unconscious. Their presence, perhaps more than anything else from the realm of literature, has helped shape the work I am most proud of. I'm often asked for a list of favorite authors. Here is my advice. Read Bulgakov. Look around you at the new century. He will show you things you need to see.

Awkward Family Photos

Author : Mike Bender
ISBN : 9780307592286
Genre : Humor
File Size : 74. 42 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
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With twenty-five new photographs for the eBook edition, the New York Times bestseller is now more awkward than ever Based on the hit website, AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com (“painful, regrettable, horrifyingly awesome snaps of family bonding, you will laugh so hard that people in adjoining offices will ask what’s wrong with you”—Esquire), this full color book features never-before-seen photos and hilarious personal stories covering everything from uncomfortable moments with relatives, teen angst, sibling rivalry, and family vacations from hell. Cringe at the forced poses, bad hair, and matching outfits--all prompting us to look at our own families and celebrate the fact that we're not alone. Nothing says awkward better than an uncomfortable family photograph!

Yoga Cats

Author : Daniel Borris
ISBN : 1841613568
Genre : Cats
File Size : 26. 88 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Mobi
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This collection of photographs captures a broad cross-section of loveable felines practicing yoga that's sure to claw its way into the affections of animal lovers everywhere. What makes this brand even more unique, is that these are real photos of real cats engaged in real yoga, created using computer wizardry.

You Had One Job

Author : Beverly L. Jenkins
ISBN : 9781449480691
Genre : Humor
File Size : 36. 17 MB
Format : PDF, Mobi
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If someone hangs a stop sign upside down or paints crooked lines on a highway, count on someone else to snap a photo and post it online. You Had One Job! is a collection of hilarious pictures features job-related disasters and general ineptitudes. All of these new, never-before-seen images will be accompanied by witty captions.

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