texts from dog

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Texts From Dog

Author : October Jones
ISBN : 9780544080065
Genre : Humor
File Size : 42. 84 MB
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He’s a dog with a phone . . . My dog sends me texts. Yeah. It’s weird. When October Jones figured out he could send text messages to himself on his mobile phone, he naturally decided that the best use of this discovery was to send passive-aggressive messages to himself under the guise of his bulldog. And so the exasperating, slightly delusional, and utterly endearing Dog and his alter-ego, BatDog, were born. Texts from Dog features Dog’s attempts to keep the neighborhood safe from the likes of Mr. Postman and his arch-nemesis Cat-Cat—he has managed to only smash three TVs and a patio door in the process. And in between crime fighting sprees and run-ins with the squirrel mafia, there are romantic interludes with pillows, fetch sessions gone terribly awry, and the abusive banter only a bromance between man and his text-savvy dog can spawn. For those of us who have ever had a conversation with a pet in our heads, Texts from Dog will make you laugh out loud and perhaps even make you think twice about leaving your pet home alone for the day.

Texts From Dog

Author : October Jones
ISBN : 9780544077744
Genre : Humor
File Size : 26. 71 MB
Format : PDF
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Presents a humorous collection of texts between man and dog.

Texts From Dog

Author : October Jones
ISBN : 9781472200716
Genre : Humor
File Size : 25. 13 MB
Format : PDF, Mobi
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In April 2012, English animator Joe Butcher discovered he could send text messages to HIMSELF on his mobile phone. Naturally, Butcher decided that the best use for this feature would be to send passive aggressive messages to his fictional alter ego October Jones, under the guise of Cooper, his British Bulldog. A classic tale of Man & Dog for the gadget driven internet generation. After taking screenshots of his canine conversations, Butcher posted them to his 10,000 Twitter followers, then created a Tumblr, which attracted over 80,000 followers in a month. Now the further exploits of Dog and his weary owner have been brought together in this hilarious book, which includes over 100 texts not seen on the website.

Texts From Dog

Author : October Jones
ISBN : 1472211340
Genre : Dogs
File Size : 82. 38 MB
Format : PDF
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Dog is back - the Bark Knight has risen. Unfortunately for weary owner October Jones (but luckily for us), that means there is a brand new selection of the funniest, most bizarre texts from his insane canine companion. There is also the welcome return of Batdog and CatCat (half cat, half cat), and a new 'friend' in Benedict, the creepiest pug in the world.

Texts From Mittens

Author : Angie Bailey
ISBN : 9781460380802
Genre : Humor
File Size : 67. 66 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Docs
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Texts from Mittens is a series of text message conversations between a snappy, self-absorbed housecat named Mittens and his long-suffering human, a single woman who works away from home during the day. Mittens relentlessly hassles his human all day long, while only taking breaks to watch Judge Judy, hang with his best friend Stumpy, complain about the antics of Drunk Patty the neighbor, ask Grandma for money to buy useless items from QVC, and harass the "filthy beast" dog, Phil. Angie Bailey is an award-winning writer and blogger, humorist, and professional member of the Cat Writers' Association. Her primary blog, Catladyland, has won many awards, and her humor writing is featured nearly daily on Catster.com, one of the most popular cat sites on the Web. She loves to photograph her cats in silly poses and sleeps with one eye open. And yes, she has three cats. "Each installment of Texts From Mittens is like a little gift to brighten your day!" —Kate Benjamin, Hauspanther founder and co-author of Catification with Jackson Galaxy "Texts From Mittens makes me wish my cat had thumbs! This is a hilarious book; Angie Bailey has done it again!" —Jeremy Greenberg, Author of Sorry I Barfed on Your Bed "We all knew that cats were hilarious, but Ms. Bailey's sardonic cat quips really take their mannerisms, attitude and occasional apathy to another level." —Susan Michals, Curator of Cat Art Show Los Angeles Come home! There's an emergency! What?? Are you OK? My dish is half empty! I'll be home soon. You wish starvation upon me! Stop being dramatic. Am weeak. Caan hasrdly tyyppe. Are you going to wear those black pants on your bed? Yes. I have a date. They're comfortable. Mittens, get off my pants! FYI: Poly-blend makes your butt look big

Throw The Damn Ball

Author : R. D. Rosen
ISBN : 9780698141223
Genre : Humor
File Size : 48. 78 MB
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A hilarious collection of poetry by dogs- perfect for lovers of literature and pups alike “Dogs seldom make passes At dogs passing gasses.” Are these the words of Dorothy Parker? Ogden Nash? Nope, the author is Sparky from Milton, Pennsylvania. Sparky, Snowy, Tucker, Louie, these canine laureates have written a volume of poetry displaying the brilliance and wit we've always suspected our dogs were hiding from us. They also, it turns out, revere the human geniuses who came before them, as you’ll see with “There Is No Frigate Like A Pavement” - an homage to Emily Dickinson - and “Do Not Go Gentle.” Yes, Dylan Thomas would love it.

Sorry I Pooped In Your Shoe And Other Heartwarming Letters From Doggie

Author : Jeremy Greenberg
ISBN : 9781449413996
Genre : Pets
File Size : 31. 76 MB
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Inside Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe, writer and comedian Jeremy Greenberg presents a collection of 50 laugh-out-loud letters and accompanying full-color photographs that explain Fido's love of funky smells, why a ball needs to be thrown again, and practically every other lovably loony canine characteristic. From an impassioned plea to stop the silly nicknames, to an attempt to skip a bath, to explanations for stolen shoes and swiped sandwiches, Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe offers a pooch's perspective on common canine vs. human cohabitation conundrums. Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe is the perfect gift for dog lovers and anyone who appreciates hilarious (and so true!) insights into dog--and human--nature.

Texts From Bennett

Author : Mac Lethal
ISBN : 9781476706887
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 27. 76 MB
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A family story for the twenty-first century, based on the phenomenally popular Texts from Bennett Tumblr blog, this epistolary novel chronicles the year that Bennett and the rest of his freeloading family moved into his cousin Mac's household. Hardworking Kansas City rapper Mac Lethal has a problem, and its name is Bennett. His wannabe gangsta cousin is seventeen, uses drugs and foul language, claims to be 13 percent black, and swears he speaks "da female language." (Strangely that last one sort of seems true.) But as different as they are, when Bennett and his mom lose their home, Mac’s got their backs. They’re family after all. Sure, it takes patience to live with the eternally smoked-out Bennett and the pill-popped Aunt Lily, but he can handle it. You know who can’t? Mac’s very pretty, very WASPy, very uptight girlfriend. So as his once-peaceful household gets completely crazy, Mac learns that wanna-be-Crips are thicker than water, that his little cousin—flawed, irreverent, and basically a Saturday morning cartoon gone horribly wrong—has become his mentor, and that he really has no idea what’s up with girls.

Texts From Jane Eyre

Author : Mallory Ortberg
ISBN : 9781627791847
Genre : Humor
File Size : 78. 9 MB
Format : PDF
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Hilariously imagined text conversations—the passive aggressive, the clever, and the strange—from classic and modern literary figures, from Scarlett O'Hara to Jessica Wakefield Mallory Ortberg, the co-creator of the cult-favorite website The Toast, presents this whimsical collection of hysterical text conversations from your favorite literary characters. Everyone knows that if Scarlett O'Hara had an unlimited text-and-data plan, she'd constantly try to tempt Ashley away from Melanie with suggestive messages. If Mr. Rochester could text Jane Eyre, his ardent missives would obviously be in all-caps. And Daisy Buchanan would not only text while driving, she'd text you to pick her up after she totaled her car. Based on the popular web-feature, Texts from Jane Eyre is a witty, irreverent mashup that brings the characters from your favorite books into the twenty-first century.

Nose Down Eyes Up

Author : Merrill Markoe
ISBN : 9780345500212
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 43. 52 MB
Format : PDF, Mobi
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Living rent-free as a handyman in the L.A. summer house of a wealthy retired couple following his nasty divorce, forty-seven-year-old Gil is baffled by his relationships with women, including his current girlfriend Sara, an animal communicator.

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