texts from dog

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Texts From Dog

Author : October Jones
ISBN : 9780544080065
Genre : Humor
File Size : 66. 98 MB
Format : PDF
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He’s a dog with a phone . . . My dog sends me texts. Yeah. It’s weird. When October Jones figured out he could send text messages to himself on his mobile phone, he naturally decided that the best use of this discovery was to send passive-aggressive messages to himself under the guise of his bulldog. And so the exasperating, slightly delusional, and utterly endearing Dog and his alter-ego, BatDog, were born. Texts from Dog features Dog’s attempts to keep the neighborhood safe from the likes of Mr. Postman and his arch-nemesis Cat-Cat—he has managed to only smash three TVs and a patio door in the process. And in between crime fighting sprees and run-ins with the squirrel mafia, there are romantic interludes with pillows, fetch sessions gone terribly awry, and the abusive banter only a bromance between man and his text-savvy dog can spawn. For those of us who have ever had a conversation with a pet in our heads, Texts from Dog will make you laugh out loud and perhaps even make you think twice about leaving your pet home alone for the day.

Texts From Dog

Author : October Jones
ISBN : 9780544077744
Genre : Humor
File Size : 38. 68 MB
Format : PDF
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Presents a humorous collection of texts between man and dog.

Texts From Dog

Author : October Jones
ISBN : 9781472200716
Genre : Humor
File Size : 43. 92 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
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In April 2012, English animator Joe Butcher discovered he could send text messages to HIMSELF on his mobile phone. Naturally, Butcher decided that the best use for this feature would be to send passive aggressive messages to his fictional alter ego October Jones, under the guise of Cooper, his British Bulldog. A classic tale of Man & Dog for the gadget driven internet generation. After taking screenshots of his canine conversations, Butcher posted them to his 10,000 Twitter followers, then created a Tumblr, which attracted over 80,000 followers in a month. Now the further exploits of Dog and his weary owner have been brought together in this hilarious book, which includes over 100 texts not seen on the website.

Texts From Dog The Dog Delusion

Author : October Jones
ISBN : 9781472211354
Genre : Humor
File Size : 37. 76 MB
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Dog is back - the Bark Knight has risen. Unfortunately for weary owner October Jones (but luckily for us), that means there is a brand new selection of the funniest, most bizarre texts from his insane canine companion. There is also the welcome return of Batdog and CatCat (half cat, half cat), and a new 'friend' in Benedict, the creepiest pug in the world.

Texts From Mittens

Author : Angie Bailey
ISBN : 9781460380802
Genre : Humor
File Size : 81. 40 MB
Format : PDF, ePub
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Texts from Mittens is a series of text message conversations between a snappy, self-absorbed housecat named Mittens and his long-suffering human, a single woman who works away from home during the day. Mittens relentlessly hassles his human all day long, while only taking breaks to watch Judge Judy, hang with his best friend Stumpy, complain about the antics of Drunk Patty the neighbor, ask Grandma for money to buy useless items from QVC, and harass the "filthy beast" dog, Phil. Angie Bailey is an award-winning writer and blogger, humorist, and professional member of the Cat Writers' Association. Her primary blog, Catladyland, has won many awards, and her humor writing is featured nearly daily on Catster.com, one of the most popular cat sites on the Web. She loves to photograph her cats in silly poses and sleeps with one eye open. And yes, she has three cats. "Each installment of Texts From Mittens is like a little gift to brighten your day!" —Kate Benjamin, Hauspanther founder and co-author of Catification with Jackson Galaxy "Texts From Mittens makes me wish my cat had thumbs! This is a hilarious book; Angie Bailey has done it again!" —Jeremy Greenberg, Author of Sorry I Barfed on Your Bed "We all knew that cats were hilarious, but Ms. Bailey's sardonic cat quips really take their mannerisms, attitude and occasional apathy to another level." —Susan Michals, Curator of Cat Art Show Los Angeles Come home! There's an emergency! What?? Are you OK? My dish is half empty! I'll be home soon. You wish starvation upon me! Stop being dramatic. Am weeak. Caan hasrdly tyyppe. Are you going to wear those black pants on your bed? Yes. I have a date. They're comfortable. Mittens, get off my pants! FYI: Poly-blend makes your butt look big

Throw The Damn Ball

Author : R. D. Rosen
ISBN : 9780142180853
Genre : Humor
File Size : 72. 95 MB
Format : PDF, Mobi
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A creative homage to classic poems features pages of verse "written" by dogs from around the country, including the works "Whose Ball This Is I Think I Know" and "Fetch Me Another."

Texts From Bennett

Author : Mac Lethal
ISBN : 9781476706887
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 59. 95 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Docs
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A family story for the twenty-first century, based on the phenomenally popular Texts from Bennett Tumblr blog, this epistolary novel chronicles the year that Bennett and the rest of his freeloading family moved into his cousin Mac's household. Hardworking Kansas City rapper Mac Lethal has a problem, and its name is Bennett. His wannabe gangsta cousin is seventeen, uses drugs and foul language, claims to be 13 percent black, and swears he speaks "da female language." (Strangely that last one sort of seems true.) But as different as they are, when Bennett and his mom lose their home, Mac’s got their backs. They’re family after all. Sure, it takes patience to live with the eternally smoked-out Bennett and the pill-popped Aunt Lily, but he can handle it. You know who can’t? Mac’s very pretty, very WASPy, very uptight girlfriend. So as his once-peaceful household gets completely crazy, Mac learns that wanna-be-Crips are thicker than water, that his little cousin—flawed, irreverent, and basically a Saturday morning cartoon gone horribly wrong—has become his mentor, and that he really has no idea what’s up with girls.

The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Night Time

Author : Mark Haddon
ISBN : 9780307371560
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 86. 31 MB
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Narrated by a fifteen-year-old autistic savant obsessed with Sherlock Holmes, this dazzling novel weaves together an old-fashioned mystery, a contemporary coming-of-age story, and a fascinating excursion into a mind incapable of processing emotions. Christopher John Francis Boone knows all the countries of the world and their capitals and every prime number up to 7,057. Although gifted with a superbly logical brain, Christopher is autistic. Everyday interactions and admonishments have little meaning for him. At fifteen, Christopher’s carefully constructed world falls apart when he finds his neighbour’s dog Wellington impaled on a garden fork, and he is initially blamed for the killing. Christopher decides that he will track down the real killer, and turns to his favourite fictional character, the impeccably logical Sherlock Holmes, for inspiration. But the investigation leads him down some unexpected paths and ultimately brings him face to face with the dissolution of his parents’ marriage. As Christopher tries to deal with the crisis within his own family, the narrative draws readers into the workings of Christopher’s mind. And herein lies the key to the brilliance of Mark Haddon’s choice of narrator: The most wrenching of emotional moments are chronicled by a boy who cannot fathom emotions. The effect is dazzling, making for one of the freshest debut in years: a comedy, a tearjerker, a mystery story, a novel of exceptional literary merit that is great fun to read.

Lessons From A Dog

Author : Patrick Moberg
ISBN : 9780142181331
Genre : Humor
File Size : 46. 97 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Mobi
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They may slobber, but they're loyal, sensitive, and affectionate. Dogs have a lot to teach us. Illustrator Patrick Moberg has assembled a beautiful, witty, and heartfelt collection of illustrated lessons in this charming guide to becoming a better person. Lessons include: Give and accept affection, freely and often. When someone kindly prepares food for you, devour it smiling like it's the best meal you've ever eaten. Take naps. Let your friends know you miss them. The perfect gift for dog lovers, Lessons from a Dog is Life's Little Instruction Book inspired by man's best friend.

Texts From Jane Eyre

Author : Mallory Ortberg
ISBN : 9781627791847
Genre : Humor
File Size : 22. 92 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
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Hilariously imagined text conversations—the passive aggressive, the clever, and the strange—from classic and modern literary figures, from Scarlett O'Hara to Jessica Wakefield Mallory Ortberg, the co-creator of the cult-favorite website The Toast, presents this whimsical collection of hysterical text conversations from your favorite literary characters. Everyone knows that if Scarlett O'Hara had an unlimited text-and-data plan, she'd constantly try to tempt Ashley away from Melanie with suggestive messages. If Mr. Rochester could text Jane Eyre, his ardent missives would obviously be in all-caps. And Daisy Buchanan would not only text while driving, she'd text you to pick her up after she totaled her car. Based on the popular web-feature, Texts from Jane Eyre is a witty, irreverent mashup that brings the characters from your favorite books into the twenty-first century.

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