the 365 stupidest things ever said page a day calendar 2017

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The Stupidest Sports Book Of All Time

Author : Kathryn Petras
ISBN : 9781523501977
Genre : Humor
File Size : 53. 35 MB
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The thrill of victory! The agony of a tight jockstrap! It’s a celebration of true sports lunacy from the renowned connoisseurs of stupidity, Kathryn and Ross Petras, authors of the beloved 365 Stupidest Things Ever Said calendar. Here from the wide world of professional and amateur sports are the worst plays, most embarrassing achievements, surliest fans, lamest excuses, and wackiest mascot tricks. Plus history-making blowouts: Georgia Tech trounces Cumberland College 222–0. Freakiest injuries: Pitcher Joel Zamaya plays so much Guitar Hero he goes on the DL with tendonitis. Improbable memorabilia: Andre Agassi’s ponytail, Ty Cobb’s dentures. Looniest promotional giveaways: Win a free vasectomy! Bizarre sports from across the globe: Olympic solo synchronized swimming. And dubious superstitions: Baseball Hall of Famer Wade Boggs eats chicken before every game of his 18-year career. And, of course, quotes. From athletes: “We lost because we didn’t win.” (soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo). Coaches: “We were scoring, they were scoring. Then we stopped scoring and they kept scoring” (Cavaliers coach Tyronn Lue). And sportscasters: “Winfield goes back to the wall, he hits his head on the wall and it rolls off! It’s rolling all the way back to second base. This is a terrible thing for the Padres!” (announcer Jerry Coleman).

It Always Seems Impossible Until It S Done

Author : Kathryn Petras
ISBN : 9780761181279
Genre : Self-Help
File Size : 42. 12 MB
Format : PDF
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Pursuing a dream is hard work, but the right words delivered at the right time—by people who’ve been there and done that—can give us just the motivation we need. The right words can rekindle our enthusiasm, re-energize our efforts, dispel doubt, let us know we’re not alone, and show us that the fight is worth it—and winnable. Kathryn and Ross Petras are masters at choosing and delivering just the right words. Their books—such as “Age Doesn’t Matter Unless You’re a Cheese” and “Dance First. Think Later.”—and bestselling calendar, The 365 Stupidest Things Ever Said, have over 5.2 million copies in print. Now comes a book for dreamers and doers, plus writers, entrepreneurs, graduates, artists, future movers and shakers. Collecting the hard-won, brilliantly expressed advice from pioneers who have paved the way, including everyone from Rumi to Steve Jobs, Michelangelo to Oprah to Tina Fey, “It Always Seems Impossible Until It’s Done” is like a rousing locker-room speech, inspiring courage, commitment, and perseverance. “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” —Michael Jordan “Go for it, baby! Life ain’t no dress rehearsal.” —Tallulah Bankhead “Perfection is like chasing the horizon. Keep moving.” —Neil Gaiman “If you aren’t in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?” —T. S. Eliot “It always seems impossible until it’s done.” —Nelson Mandela

Cat Shaming

Author : Pedro Andrade
ISBN : 9781449479169
Genre : Pets
File Size : 60. 96 MB
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What happens when your cat makes a mistake like ruining something valuable or going outside the litter box? You can't ground or take away their allowance when your cat gets in trouble. So what is the next best thing? Cat Shaming! Cat Shaming is a hilarious collection of photos from owners who express their frustration when their furry best friend does something bad. Millions of cat owners can relate to the antics of these felines while the picture shows a shamed but adorable, innocent looking kitty.

Dumb Things People Say

Author : Jeanne Gray
ISBN : 1598242172
Genre : Humor
File Size : 73. 67 MB
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What made me write this book is from overhearing dumb remarks, and questions people ask. You might have heard a few of these over the years or have been guilty to contributing to a few of these questions. (I'll admit, I am just as guilty for asking dumb questions too). If you really think about it, those dumb questions are really funny. These are really dumb questions that are meant to be taken serious. "My reply to myself" section is just a sarcastic version of what most people like myself would like to say out loud but wouldn't dare to. However, it is said with plenty of attitude with the eyes and body language. Can you imagine someone responding out loud with plenty of body and hand language? For example, Oh! I know he didn't just ask me that! Can you imagine the head and neck motion or maybe the eyes rolls up in your head from disgust or disbelief. Well, basically this is the way we kind of see ourselves but doing it quietly within ourselves. If only you could really read people minds when you ask a dumb question and you really don't realize it. Some questions are so foolish it can leave you speechless. This is just a collection of things people tend to say that comes right off of the top of their heads without any thought; you know the old adage, "Mouth in motion before Brain in gear." I'm sure you will come up with more of your own experiences that may not be included. Here are many examples of my favorite dumb things people say. You may find yourself chuckling at a few of these dumb questions and remembering some of the questions you may have heard yourself or may have ask just yesterday.

Laugh Out Loud Jokes For Kids

Author : Rob Elliott
ISBN : 9780800788032
Genre : Juvenile Nonfiction
File Size : 72. 65 MB
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Presents a collection of jokes for young readers, including one liners, knock knock jokes, and tongue twisters.

You Are Doing A Freaking Great Job

Author : Workman Publishing
ISBN : 9780761184478
Genre : Self-Help
File Size : 87. 30 MB
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The perfect gift, and the easiest gift—because we all know someone who deserves a pat on the back, a big thumbs-up, or just a special thank-you! You Are Doing a Freaking Great Job is a vibrant, colorful, pocket-size book of encouragement. Created by more than 20 artists and designers—from the well-known Etsy favorites Emily McDowell and Mary Kate McDevitt, to emerging talents Lindsay Whitehead and J. Zachary Keenan—this powerful little book is filled with nearly 200 uplifting and inspiring quotes, lyrics, and words of advice rendered in the original hand-lettered style of art that is pinned and repinned on Pinterest and sold on Etsy. There are mantras: “You are in charge of your own happiness.” Galvanizing words of action: “Make it now.” Heartening quotes: “You are capable of more than you know.” Bursts of motivation: “Be a Warrior, Not a Worrier” and “Spread Your Arms and Trust Your Cape.” Interweaved throughout is complementary text—including surprising playlists, sweet and simple recipes, and suggestions for inspirational films to watch and commencement speeches to read.

F In Exams

Author : Richard Benson
ISBN : 9781452138572
Genre : Humor
File Size : 48. 30 MB
Format : PDF
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F stands for "funny" in this perfect gift for students or anyone who has ever had to struggle through a test and needs a good laugh. Celebrating the creative side of failure in a way we can all relate to, F in Exams gathers the most hilarious and inventive test answers provided by students who, faced with a question they have no hope of getting right, decide to have a little fun instead. Whether in science (Q: What is the highest frequency noise that a human can register? A: Mariah Carey), the humanities (Q: What did Mahatma Gandhi and Genghis Khan have in common? A: Unusual names), math, or other subjects, these 250 entries prove that while everyone enjoys the spectacle of failure, it's even sweeter to see a FAIL turn into a WIN.

Lonely Planet Signspotting 2

Author : Doug Lansky
ISBN : 9781741791822
Genre : Humor
File Size : 69. 49 MB
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So, you're back on the road, it's getting dark and you've lost your spot on the map - this is one way to get off the beaten tourist track ! Unless, of course, you're willing to take directions from the signs found within these covers. Perhaps you fancy a weekend at the George Bush Centre for Intelligence, or are willing to navigate your way around a city despite the Explosion ! signs on every corner. Whatever adventure you're after - whether it be a trip to the Curry Prevention Services Unit in Oregon or the Ha Ha Cemetery in New Brunswick, Canada - let our new collection of signs from around the globe guide, confuse and amuse you !

That Doesn T Mean What You Think It Means

Author : Ross Petras
ISBN : 9780399581281
Genre : Language Arts & Disciplines
File Size : 89. 36 MB
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An entertaining and informative guide to the most common 150 words even smart people use incorrectly, along with pithy forays into their fascinating etymologies and tangled histories of use and misuse. Even the most erudite among us use words like apocryphal, facetious, ironic, meteorite, moot, redundant, and unique incorrectly every day. Don’t be one of them. Using examples of misuse from leading newspapers, prominent public figures and famous writers, among others, language gurus Ross Petras and Kathryn Petras explain how to avoid these perilous pitfalls in the English language. Each entry also includes short histories of how and why these mistake have happened, some of the (often surprisingly nasty) debates about which uses are (and are not) mistakes, and finally, how to use these words correctly … or why to not use them at all. By the end of this book, every literati will be able to confidently, casually, and correctly toss in an “a priori” or a “limns” without hesitation.

Trumpisms

Author : Seth Millstein
ISBN : 9781510710962
Genre : Political Science
File Size : 89. 27 MB
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One may think that Donald Trump knows what he’s talking about. After all, the man—as he’ll remind you at every opportunity—has made a whopping $4 million as an entrepreneur and is far ahead of his competitors in the race to become the republican nominee for the 2016 presidential election. He’s also assertive, bold, self-assured, and argumentative. He talks as if he knows what he’s talking about. And then reality sets it. He can’t actually believe the ludicrous things that come out of his mouth. Or can he? This brilliant, hilarious, and horrifying collection is a compilation of more than one hundred of the most mind-boggling, insane, crass, ignorant, and downright offensive statements he's made, Tweeted, or otherwise written. We’ll cover his thoughts on public policy, international relations, President Barack Obama, his opponents, himself—and much, much more. So buckle up, America, because common sense, experience, grace, and political knowledge—who needs them? As Trump said, he will be one of the greatest presidents “that God ever created.”

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