the science of trust emotional attunement for couples

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The Science Of Trust Emotional Attunement For Couples

Author : John M. Gottman
ISBN : 9780393707403
Genre : Psychology
File Size : 82. 56 MB
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An eminent therapist explains what makes couples compatible and how to sustain a happy marriage. For the past thirty-five years, John Gottman’s research has been internationally recognized for its unprecedented ability to precisely measure interactive processes in couples and to predict the long-term success or failure of relationships. In this groundbreaking book, he presents a new approach to understanding and changing couples: a fundamental social skill called “emotional attunement,” which describes a couple’s ability to fully process and move on from negative emotional events, ultimately creating a stronger relationship. Gottman draws from this longitudinal research and theory to show how emotional attunement can downregulate negative affect, help couples focus on positive traits and memories, and even help prevent domestic violence. He offers a detailed intervention devised to cultivate attunement, thereby helping couples connect, respect, and show affection. Emotional attunement is extended to tackle the subjects of flooding, the story we tell ourselves about our relationship, conflict, personality, changing relationships, and gender. Gottman also explains how to create emotional attunement when it is missing, to lay a foundation that will carry the relationship through difficult times. Gottman encourages couples to cultivate attunement through awareness, tolerance, understanding, non-defensive listening, and empathy. These qualities, he argues, inspire confidence in couples, and the sense that despite the inevitable struggles, the relationship is enduring and resilient. This book, an essential follow-up to his 1999 The Marriage Clinic, offers therapists, students, and researchers detailed intervention for working with couples, and offers couples a roadmap to a stronger future together.

The Energies Of Love

Author : Donna Eden
ISBN : 9780698176218
Genre : Body, Mind & Spirit
File Size : 60. 5 MB
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The bestselling authors of Energy Medicine and Energy Medicine for Women present a complete program for using energy medicine to heal and strengthen romantic relationships. A relationship begins with the meeting of two unique energies. This union of energies, though invisible, determines the way you communicate, fight, love, and want to be loved. In this groundbreaking book, the bestselling authors of Energy Medicine draw on the real-life experiences of couples who have attended their popular “Energies of Love” workshops, as well as their own experience as husband and wife, to show how an understanding of your energy system and that of your partner can help you build a more harmonious and loving bond. We all have different ways of making sense of the world around us, but when faced with conflict, especially with those we care most about, we tend to revert to one of four “Energetic Stress Styles”: - Visuals are extremely passionate and inspire others to care about the things they care about, but in moments of conflict, their take on the situation can overshadow what is actually occurring, undermining their ability to empathize with their partner. - Kinesthetics are generous, compassionate, and accepting of other people, but their caring nature pulls them in too many directions. They try to meet others’ needs at the expense of their own, which can cause mounting resentment. - Digitals are rational and principled and have a gift for quickly understanding complex situations, but they can become closed to others’ perspectives and feelings. - Tonals have a gift for understanding others and their dilemmas, but during moments of conflict, their ability to read between the lines can morph into hearing what was never said, felt, or thought. According to the authors, the strongest relationships are those in which the two parties feel that they are partners on a shared spiritual journey. By helping you better understand your own unique energy system, as well as that of your partner, you will be able to recognize your strengths as a couple-¬and avoid the pitfalls. The Energies of Love serves as a powerful resource for anyone who wishes to build a rich partnership while maintaining the spark that keeps a relationship exciting.

Psychology As The Science Of Human Being

Author : Jaan Valsiner
ISBN : 9783319210940
Genre : Psychology
File Size : 78. 59 MB
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This book brings together a group of scholars from around the world who view psychology as the science of human ways of being. Being refers to the process of existing - through construction of the human world – here, rather than to an ontological state. This collection includes work that has the goal to establish the newly developed area of cultural psychology as the science of specifically human ways of existence. It comes as a next step after the “behaviorist turn” that has dominated psychology over most of the 20th century, and like its successor in the form of “cognitivism”, kept psychology away from addressing issues of specifically human ways of relating with their worlds. Such linking takes place through intentional human actions: through the creation of complex tools for living, entertainment, and work. Human beings construct tools to make other tools. Human beings invent religious systems, notions of economic rationality and legal systems; they enter into aesthetic enjoyment of various aspects of life in art, music, and literature; they have the capability of inventing national identities that can be summoned to legitimate one’s killing of one’s neighbors or being killed oneself. The contributions to this volume focus on the central goal of demonstrating that psychology as a science needs to start from the phenomena of higher psychological functions and then look at how their lower counterparts are re-organized from above. That kind of investigation is inevitably interdisciplinary - it links psychology with anthropology, philosophy, sociology, history and developmental biology. Various contributions to this volume are based on the work of Lev Vygotsky, George Herbert Mead, Henri Bergson and on traditions of Ganzheitspsychologie and Gestalt psychology. Psychology as the Science of Human Being is a valuable resource to psychologists, sociologists, philosophers, biologists and anthropologists alike.​

Socio Emotional Relationship Therapy

Author : Carmen Knudson-Martin
ISBN : 9783319133980
Genre : Psychology
File Size : 24. 78 MB
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This path-breaking volume introduces Socio-Emotional Relationship Therapy for clinical work with troubled couples. Practice-focused and engaging, it integrates real-world knowledge of the intersections of gender, culture, power, and identity in relationships with empirical findings on the neurobiology of attraction. Case examples detail the process of therapists in the moment as they develop both their clinical skills and their understanding of the social contexts fueling couples' difficulties. Applications of the method, which can be used with same-sex couples as well as heterosexual ones, are shown in addressing infidelity, tapping into partners' spirituality, and modeling and encouraging mutual respect and support. Among the topics covered: Undoing gendered power in heterosexual couple relationships. Interpersonal neurobiology, couples, and the societal context. How gender discourses hijack couple therapy—and how it can be avoided. How SERT therapists develop interventions that address the larger context. Building a circle of care in same-sex couple relationships. Couple therapy with adult survivors of child abuse: gender, power, and trust. Socio-Emotional Relationship Therapy opens out practical new possibilities for marriage and family therapists, clinical psychologists, social workers, and counselors seeking ideas for more meaningful couples work.

Clinical Handbook Of Couple Therapy Fifth Edition

Author : Alan S. Gurman
ISBN : 9781462513925
Genre : Psychology
File Size : 45. 97 MB
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Regarded as the authoritative reference and text, this handbook presents the most effective, widely studied approaches to couple therapy. The distinguished coeditors bring together other leading experts, most of whom developed the approaches they describe. Adhering closely to a uniform structure to facilitate study and comparison, chapters cover the history, theoretical and empirical underpinnings, and techniques of each model. The volume also describes cutting-edge applications for particular relationship contexts (such as blended families, LGBT couples, and separated couples) and clinical problems (such as partner aggression, psychological disorders, and medical issues). New to This Edition *Chapters on interpersonal neurobiology and intercultural relationships. *Chapters on couple therapy for PTSD, functional analytic couple therapy, and the integrative problem-centered metaframeworks approach. *Many new authors.*Extensively revised with the latest theory and research. See also Clinical Casebook of Couple Therapy, edited by Alan S. Gurman, which presents in-depth illustrations of treatment.

Daring Greatly

Author : Brené Brown
ISBN : 9781101594995
Genre : Self-Help
File Size : 27. 12 MB
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The #1 New York Times bestseller. 1 million copies sold! From thought leader Brené Brown, a transformative new vision for the way we lead, love, work, parent, and educate that teaches us the power of vulnerability. “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; . . . who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.”—Theodore Roosevelt Every day we experience the uncertainty, risks, and emotional exposure that define what it means to be vulnerable or to dare greatly. Based on twelve years of pioneering research, Brené Brown PhD, LMSW, dispels the cultural myth that vulnerability is weakness and argues that it is, in truth, our most accurate measure of courage. Brown explains how vulnerability is both the core of difficult emotions like fear, grief, and disappointment, and the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, empathy, innovation, and creativity. She writes: “When we shut ourselves off from vulnerability, we distance ourselves from the experiences that bring purpose and meaning to our lives.” Daring Greatly is not about winning or losing. It’s about courage. In a world where “never enough” dominates and feeling afraid has become second nature, vulnerability is subversive. Uncomfortable. It’s even a little dangerous at times. And, without question, putting ourselves out there means there’s a far greater risk of getting criticized or feeling hurt. But when we step back and examine our lives, we will find that nothing is as uncomfortable, dangerous, and hurtful as standing on the outside of our lives looking in and wondering what it would be like if we had the courage to step into the arena—whether it’s a new relationship, an important meeting, the creative process, or a difficult family conversation. Daring Greatly is a practice and a powerful new vision for letting ourselves be seen.

The Body Keeps The Score

Author : Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.
ISBN : 9781101608302
Genre : Psychology
File Size : 62. 98 MB
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• A New York Times Science Bestseller • “Packed with science and human stories, the book is an intense read. . . . The struggle and resilience of [van der Kolk’s] patients is very moving.” —New Scientist A pioneering researcher transforms our understanding of trauma and offers a bold new paradigm for healing Trauma is a fact of life. Veterans and their families deal with the painful aftermath of combat; one in five Americans has been molested; one in four grew up with alcoholics; one in three couples have engaged in physical violence. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, one of the world’s foremost experts on trauma, has spent over three decades working with survivors. In The Body Keeps the Score, he uses recent scientific advances to show how trauma literally reshapes both body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust. He explores innovative treatments—from neurofeedback and meditation to sports, drama, and yoga—that offer new paths to recovery by activating the brain’s natural neuroplasticity. Based on Dr. van der Kolk’s own research and that of other leading specialists, The Body Keeps the Score exposes the tremendous power of our relationships both to hurt and to heal—and offers new hope for reclaiming lives. From the Trade Paperback edition.

What Makes Love Last

Author : John Mordechai Gottman
ISBN : 9781451608489
Genre : FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS
File Size : 35. 5 MB
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"One of the foremost relationship experts at work today applies the insights of science toward understanding the real meaning of trust between a couple. He decodes the "why" behind betrayal and shows how partners can avoid or recover from unfaithfulness and maintain a loving relationship.Dr. John Gottman, the country's pre-eminent researcher on marriage, is famous for his Love Lab at the University of Washington in Seattle where he deciphers the mysteries of human relationships through scientific research. His thirty-five years of exploration have earned him numerous major awards, including from the National Institute of Mental Health, the American Psychological Association, and the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. Now, Dr. Gottman offers surprising findings and advice on the characteristic that is at the heart of all relationships: Trust. Dr. Gottman has developed a formula that precisely calculates any couple's loyalty level. The results determine a relationship's likely future, including the potential for one or both partners to stray. A Love You Can Trust shows couples how to bolster their trust level and avoid what Dr. Gottman calls the "Roach Motel for Lovers." He describes how the outcome of--"sliding door moments," small pivotal points between a couple, can lead either to more emotional connection or to discontent. He suggests a new approach to handling adultery and reveals the varied and unexpected non-sexual ways that couples often betray each other. A Love You Can Trust guides couples through an empirically tested, trust-building program that will let them repair and maintain a long-term, intimate, and romantic relationship"--

The Attachment Connection

Author : Ruth Newton
ISBN : 9781608825042
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 46. 92 MB
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Studies in the 1950s revealed that young children hospitalized without their parents respond first by crying for them, then by showing signs of despair, and finally by emotionally detaching from the parents and acting indifferent to their absence. This detachment is hard to repair and highly detrimental to a child's development-most children who feel they cannot rely on their parents grow up to become more emotionally insecure and less self-assured than their peers. The Attachment Connection sorts out the facts from the fiction about parent-child attachment and shows how paying attention to the emotional needs of your child, particularly during the first five years of development, can help him or her grow up happy, secure, and confident. You'll discover how your child's brain is developing at each stage of growth and learn to use reasonable, easy-to-implement guidelines based on sound science to foster secure attachment, healthy social skills, and emotional regulation in your child.

The Man S Guide To Women

Author : John Gottman
ISBN : 9781623361846
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 47. 16 MB
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A great "philosopher" once said, "Trying to understand women is like trying to smell the color 9." But the fact is, men can understand women to their great benefit. All they need is the right teacher. And arguably there is no better teacher than John Gottman, PhD, a world-renowned relationships researcher and author of the bestselling 7 principles of Making Marriage Work. His new book, written with wife Julie Gottman, a clinical psychologist, and Doug Abrams and Rachel Carlton Abrams, MD, is based on 40 years of scientific study, much of it gleaned from the Gottman's popular couple's workshops and the "love lab" at the University of Washington. It's written primarily for men because new research suggests that it is the man in a relationship who wields the most influence to make it great or screw it up beyond repair. The Man's Guide to Women offers the science-based answers to the question: What do women really want in a man? The book explains the hallmarks of manhood that most women find attractive, and helps men hone those skills to be the man she desires.

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