what makes love last

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What Makes Love Last

Author : John Mordechai Gottman
ISBN : 9781451608489
Genre : FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS
File Size : 87. 23 MB
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"One of the foremost relationship experts at work today applies the insights of science toward understanding the real meaning of trust between a couple. He decodes the "why" behind betrayal and shows how partners can avoid or recover from unfaithfulness and maintain a loving relationship.Dr. John Gottman, the country's pre-eminent researcher on marriage, is famous for his Love Lab at the University of Washington in Seattle where he deciphers the mysteries of human relationships through scientific research. His thirty-five years of exploration have earned him numerous major awards, including from the National Institute of Mental Health, the American Psychological Association, and the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. Now, Dr. Gottman offers surprising findings and advice on the characteristic that is at the heart of all relationships: Trust. Dr. Gottman has developed a formula that precisely calculates any couple's loyalty level. The results determine a relationship's likely future, including the potential for one or both partners to stray. A Love You Can Trust shows couples how to bolster their trust level and avoid what Dr. Gottman calls the "Roach Motel for Lovers." He describes how the outcome of--"sliding door moments," small pivotal points between a couple, can lead either to more emotional connection or to discontent. He suggests a new approach to handling adultery and reveals the varied and unexpected non-sexual ways that couples often betray each other. A Love You Can Trust guides couples through an empirically tested, trust-building program that will let them repair and maintain a long-term, intimate, and romantic relationship"--

The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work

Author : John Gottman, PhD
ISBN : 9781101902912
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 43. 12 MB
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Just as Masters and Johnson were pioneers in the study of human sexuality, so Dr. John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage. As a professor of psychology at the University of Washington and the founder and director of the Seattle Marital and Family Institute, he has studied the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over the course of many years. His findings, and his heavily attended workshops, have already turned around thousands of faltering marriages. This book is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward in their approach, yet profound in their effect, these principles teach partners new and startling strategies for making their marriage work. Gottman helps couples focus on each other, on paying attention to the small day-to-day moments that, strung together, make up the heart and soul of any relationship. Being thoughtful about ordinary matters provides spouses with a solid foundation for resolving conflict when it does occur and finding strategies for living with those issues that cannot be resolved. Packed with questionnaires and exercises whose effectiveness has been proven in Dr. Gottman's workshops, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the result of Dr. John Gottman's many years of closely observing thousands of marriages. This kind of longitudinal research has never been done before. Based on his findings, he has culled seven principles essential to the success of any marriage. Maintain a love map. Foster fondness and admiration. Turn toward instead of away. Accept influence. Solve solvable conflicts. Cope with conflicts you can't resolve. Create shared meaning. Dr. Gottman's unique questionnaires and exercises will guide couples on the road to revitalizing their marriage, or making a strong one even better.

The Man S Guide To Women

Author : John Gottman
ISBN : 9781623361853
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 40. 79 MB
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Results from world-renowned relationship expert John Gottman's famous Love Lab have proven an incredible truth: Men make or break relationships. Based on 40 years of research, The Man's Guide to Women unlocks the mystery of how to attract, satisfy, and succeed with a woman for a lifetime. For the first time ever, there is a science-based answer to the age-old question: What do women really want in a man?

Dr. Gottman, author of the New York Times bestseller The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, and his wife and collaborator, clinical psychologist Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD, have pored over the research along with bestselling coauthors Douglas Abrams and Rachel Carlton Abrams, MD. Together, they have written this definitive guide for men, providing answers on everything from how to approach a woman and build a connection with her to how to truly satisfy her in bed and know when the relationship is on the right track. The Man's Guide to Women is a must-have playbook for how to play--and win--the game of love.


The Science Of Trust Emotional Attunement For Couples

Author : John M. Gottman
ISBN : 9780393707403
Genre : Psychology
File Size : 21. 68 MB
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An eminent therapist explains what makes couples compatible and how to sustain a happy marriage. For the past thirty-five years, John Gottman’s research has been internationally recognized for its unprecedented ability to precisely measure interactive processes in couples and to predict the long-term success or failure of relationships. In this groundbreaking book, he presents a new approach to understanding and changing couples: a fundamental social skill called “emotional attunement,” which describes a couple’s ability to fully process and move on from negative emotional events, ultimately creating a stronger relationship. Gottman draws from this longitudinal research and theory to show how emotional attunement can downregulate negative affect, help couples focus on positive traits and memories, and even help prevent domestic violence. He offers a detailed intervention devised to cultivate attunement, thereby helping couples connect, respect, and show affection. Emotional attunement is extended to tackle the subjects of flooding, the story we tell ourselves about our relationship, conflict, personality, changing relationships, and gender. Gottman also explains how to create emotional attunement when it is missing, to lay a foundation that will carry the relationship through difficult times. Gottman encourages couples to cultivate attunement through awareness, tolerance, understanding, non-defensive listening, and empathy. These qualities, he argues, inspire confidence in couples, and the sense that despite the inevitable struggles, the relationship is enduring and resilient. This book, an essential follow-up to his 1999 The Marriage Clinic, offers therapists, students, and researchers detailed intervention for working with couples, and offers couples a roadmap to a stronger future together.

Will Our Love Last

Author : Sam R. Hamburg
ISBN : 0743203526
Genre : Psychology
File Size : 28. 35 MB
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Am I with the right person? Will our love last? Men and women in love are haunted by these questions. Love -- especially why it blossoms in relationships and why it later dies -- is a mystery to them. Will Our Love Last? A Couple's Road Map solves this mystery by giving readers a new understanding of love -- an understanding they can actually use to evaluate the soundness of their relationships and to answer confidently the crucial questions that mystified them before. Based on hundreds of cases in his twenty-four years as a marital therapist and twenty-nine years in his own happy marriage, Sam R. Hamburg, Ph.D., explains how compatibility is the key to lasting love. He shows how compatibility on three major dimensions -- the Practical Dimension, the Sexual Dimension, and the Wavelength Dimension -- is essential to the mutual understanding and affirmation that keep love alive, and he leads readers through a simple but systematic procedure for assessing their compatibility with a romantic partner in these crucial relationship areas. Dr. Hamburg introduces a new technique, The Hand Rotation Exercise, to help readers express their degree of compatibility and then convey that visually to their partner. In addition, he presents two new original techniques for working through relationship conflicts and coming to agreement on difficult issues: His Way/Her Way and The Long Conversation. Written in a clear, direct style that is free of jargon, Will Our Love Last? empowers readers to make important relationship decisions that are intellectually and emotionally informed. Will Our Love Last? will help couples trying to decide if they should take the next step to a more committed relationship. It will aid individuals embarking on a new relationship, or who are between relationships, to evaluate the rightness of a new or prospective partner. And it will assist people who are already in committed relationships to make an honest assessment of their prospects for happiness with their current partner. People have it in their power to make sure that they truly are with the right person. Will Our Love Last? shows the way.

Love S Hidden Symmetry

Author : Bert Hellinger
ISBN : 1891944002
Genre : Psychology
File Size : 78. 20 MB
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'Love's Hidden Symmetry' is a book to be read slowly - and then to be read again and again. Here is an opportunity to discover the work of Bert Hellinger, whose generative approach to intervening in systems has already reached across Europe into the hearts and minds of a diverse therapeutic community. A lively blend of narrative, storytelling, transcript material, and poetic imagery is invoked to describe, and to demonstrate, what Hellinger calls 'the orders of love' and how disturbances in the orders of love create a legacy that must be reckoned with for generations to come. But these deeply embedded forces in the family system can be harnessed for healing once they are acknowledged, respected, and gently redirected. Hellinger's basic tool for helping family members restore balance is the use of family constellations. Hellinger, along with coauthors Gunthard Weber and Hunter Beaumont, clarifies how this method can be refined and expanded to galvanize the energy of everyone involved toward a greater sense of well- being. The transcripts included in the book help to capture the extraordinary potential of working appropriately with family constellations. The profound suffering of many of these individuals is more than matched by the opportunity for peace that is revealed in the therapeutic work.

Principia Amoris

Author : John Mordechai Gottman
ISBN : 9781136175664
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 71. 90 MB
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Stereotypically, science and emotion are diametric opposites: one is cold and unfeeling, the other soft and nebulous; one is based on proven facts while the other is based on inexplicable feelings and “never the twain shall meet,” until now. John Gottman delves into the unquantifiable realm of love, armed with science and logic, and emerges with the knowledge that relationships can be not only understood, but also predicted as well. Based on research done at his Love Lab and other laboratories, Gottman has discovered that the future of love relationships can be predicted with a startling 91% success rate. These predictions can help couples to prevent disasters in their relationships, recognize the signs of a promising relationship, and perhaps more importantly, recognize the signs of a doomed one. Principia Amoris also introduces Love Equations, a mathematical modeling of relationships that helps understand predictions. Love Equations are powerful tools that can prevent relationship distress and heal ailing relationships. Readers learn about the various research and studies that were done to discover the science behind love, and are treated to a history of the people, ideas, and events that shaped our current understanding. They also learn about: • The “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” • 45 natural principles of love • 5 couple types • 5 recipes for good relationships • And much more! Just as science helped us to understand the physical world, it is helping us to understand the emotional world as well. Using the insights in this book, mental health professionals can meaningfully help their distressed clients, as well as better understand why a relationship is failing or succeeding. Appropriate for the curious non-mental health professional as well, Principia Amoris is a must-have on any bookshelf!

Making Love Last Forever

Author : Gary Smalley
ISBN : 9781418565893
Genre : Religion
File Size : 40. 26 MB
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For years Gary Smalley has helped millions of couples throughout North America enrich their relationships and deepen their bonds of love and companionship. In this extraordinary book, he shows you how to stay in love through all the stages of life. From first attraction to lifelong commitment, Gary's proven techniques and practical advice show you how to pursue and keep the love you want, and how to energize your relationship with enduring, passion-filled love. In this book you'll learn how to: Understand and use love's best-kept secret Deal with the number one enemy of love Turn headaches into more love Increase your energy to keep loving Find the power to keep on loving your spouse Use normal conflicts as doorways to intimacy Read a woman's built-in marriage manual twelve ways Divorce-proof your marriage Develop the five vital signs of a healthy marriage Respond to your partner's number one request Find the powerful secret to great love Bring out the best in your maddening mate With humor, empathy, and insight, Gary Smalley inspires you to fall in love with life and enjoy the deep satisfaction of a lifelong love. Down-to-earth examples, touching personal experiences, and inspiring spiritual principles will motivate you to bring about positive changes in your marriage-whether or not your mate is a willing participant. You'll learn how to tap resources at hand to help you follow through with your journey-and make your love last forever.

The Relationship Alphabet

Author : Zach Brittle
ISBN : 9781483555423
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 25. 25 MB
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The Relationship Alphabet is an alphabetical survey of relationship topics based on the research of Dr. John Gottman. The book includes insights on communication, conflict management and friendship building. Practical discussion questions make it easy to turn ideas into action.

The Science Of Happily Ever After

Author : Ty Tashiro
ISBN : 9780373892907
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 40. 39 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
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Examines the science behind choosing a mate and reveals actionable tips for finding love, in an exploration that draws on research from such fields as demography, sociology, and psychology.

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