grumpy old women the official handbook

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Grumpy Old Holidays

Author : Judith Holder
ISBN : 9781780223872
Genre : Humor
File Size : 33. 32 MB
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Welcome on board - holidays the Grumpy way! As every Grumpy Old Man and Woman knows, holidays are another way of keeping you all house-trained. They are civilised society's reminder to you that the tedium of everyday life is actually preferable to a fortnight spent in the company of nagging partners, other people's brats, bombastic in-laws; and - worse still - people who can't speak English. As soon as you check in at the airport you are marooned in a sea of screaming babies, dull-faced reps and bland airport food. Count yourself lucky if your optimistic expectation of a good holiday is even remotely fulfilled. Don't be fooled by the glamorous air-brushed photos of American models with tippexed teeth sitting by laguna pools, cocktail in hand. There may be beautiful sunsets by the beach in the brochure, but you'll inevitably find that a) you should have booked the neighbouring hotel (and if you're lucky she'll tell you so, 'ad nauseam') b) you picked the rainy/religious holiday/mosquito/plague infestation season - and wonder why it was so cheap and c) you'll have had too much sex or food by the third or fourth day and be bored of each other, but there's no-one else to talk to, apart from monosyllabic waiting staff and the ubiquitous Russians. A holiday is supposed to be a lovely break, isn't it? This book proves that it is the stay-at-homes who have all the fun.

Grumpy Old Men The Official Handbook

Author : Stuart Prebble
ISBN : 9781409071600
Genre : Humor
File Size : 81. 5 MB
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Do you know someone who is incensed by compulsory tipping? Who is infuriated if kept on hold for more than a minute? Who is positively apoplectic if someone answers their phone during dinner? If so, youve probably encountered the phenomenon of the grumpy old man. Following their first massively successful BBC1 series, this autumn will see the grumpy old men will return to our screens, and this time theyre grumpier than ever. Packed with funny and informative chapters such as Who are we, What are we grumpy about and How can you spot the signs of grumpiness coming on, this book will leave even the grumpiest of men with a grin on his face.

Grumpy Old Drivers

Author : Stuart Prebble
ISBN : 9780297856078
Genre : Humor
File Size : 30. 72 MB
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How modern motoring drives Grumpies to distraction We've said that Christmas is the worst thing; we've said that working for idiots is the worst thing; we've said that holidays are the worst thing. But driving is the worst thing of all. It brings together so many of the multitude of individual elements which combine to make Grumpy Old Men and Grumpy Old Women grumpy. It's got queuing - at petrol stations, on side roads, on A roads, on motorways, at car parks and even at the 'drive through'. Very few things make Grumpies more grumpy than queuing. It's got being ripped off - when you buy a car, when you have it serviced, when you buy anything for it, when anything goes wrong, when you put petrol in it, when you wash it, when you park it, when it gets towed away and when some arsehole you've never met bumps into it. It's got being pissed about - when you want to book it in for a service, and when you get to tax it, insure it and get the MOT for it, and again when you want to sell it. And last but not least, it's got the most essential ingredient of grumpiness. Driving is a triumph of disappointment over expectation. When we were kids we thought driving would be the ultimate freedom and all it has turned out to be is a total pain in the tushkin. And that is not even mentioning Top sodding Gear...

Grumpy Old Workers

Author : Stuart Prebble
ISBN : 9781780223896
Genre : Humor
File Size : 51. 20 MB
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'I owe, I owe, so off to work we go.' A Grumpy perspective on the daily grind. Whether we are celebrity chef or hapless waiter, engineer or oily rag, commissioning editor or TV producer, all of us have a whole daily wagon-load of s**t to deal with in the name of work. From boardroom to boredom, from 'what's the point?' to Powerpoint, from 9 to 5 to P45. And that's what this new book from uber-grump Stuart Prebble is all about; the utter everyday relentless crapulence of working for 'the man', or indeed 'the woman'. The workplace is a piece of cake for someone of his curmudgeonly quality. It's not possible in a book of this size to include ALL the grumps arising from the working day - the office politics, the shortcomings of IT, the interminable meetings and some of your colleagues' weirder habits, but he is giving it a go. Grumpy? I'll say we are ...

Grumpy Old Christmas

Author : Stuart Prebble
ISBN : 9781780223902
Genre : Humor
File Size : 49. 44 MB
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The highly successful 'Grumpies' return full of the Christmas spirit. So - 'tis the season to be jolly is it? Well, not in the household of the Grumpy Old Man it isn't. In the case of the GOM, 'tis the season to have to put up with even deeper layers of vexation than usual, and the only thing worth celebrating is that it looks as though you might after all be surviving to the end of what has been another crap year. Everything about Christmas gets up our snitches. Everything. From the breakfast telly presenters who tell us it's now just 120 shopping days to go, to the annual festive strike by airport baggage handlers. From office parties where drunken juniors have waited the whole year to tell you what 'the trouble with you is...', to parents videoing their precocious brats at the atrocious school nativity play where your kid is playing the part of the donkey's rear end. From the woman next door who drops in to show your wife the diamond ring her prat of a husband has bought her, to the 150th opportunity to see 'Whistle Down the Wind' on the telly. And speaking of wind, there's the festive Xmas turkey that tastes like blotting paper soaked in a puddle and sends your digestive system to hell. And how on earth are we really supposed to look happy when someone buys us a tie with a picture of xxxxing Santa on it? Eh?

Grumpy Old Men

Author : Stuart Prebble
ISBN : 0563522801
Genre : Performing Arts
File Size : 88. 52 MB
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To everything there is a season. A time to be born, a time to die... and a time to get a few things off your chest. The sequel to GRUMPY OLD MEN: THE OFFICIAL HANDBOOK covers a year in the sad and sordid life of a Grumpy Old Man, sorting into dates and seasons the many and manifold bloody irritations which multiply in this perpetual torment that we call modern living. Yes, it's a daily chronicle of life for the terminally irritable; an almanac of angst. If you know, live with, tolerate or - God forbid, ARE - a Grumpy Old Man, this is essential reading.

The British National Bibliography

Author : Arthur James Wells
ISBN : STANFORD:36105211722678
Genre : English literature
File Size : 49. 67 MB
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The Hey Nonny Handbook

Author : Julia Jeffries
ISBN : 1905641206
Genre : Self-Help
File Size : 26. 79 MB
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Written for women, by women, this book shines a torch on our problems. They offer advice on maintaining health and sanity, coping with family relationships, the importance of female friendships and how to relate to men. They hope that women everywhere will learn from their experiences and benefit from their words.

Film Business

Author : Tom Jeffrey
ISBN : 9781741156089
Genre : Performing Arts
File Size : 48. 3 MB
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If you want to be a successful film producer, you'll keep Film Business close at hand: one copy on your desk and one copy on your bedside table. The Producer makes films happen. With all the skill of the best circus juggler the producer moves a film project forward from idea to release,as quickly as possible, on time and on budget. The producer has clear goals and oversees the creative process with efficiency, passion and unflagging enthusiasm. Film Business explains all you need to know to become a successful producer. The book covers building a business plan, selecting and analysing scripts, and creating strategies for deal-making, as well as the production and marketing of projects in a range of genres and markets from traditional cinema to digital interactive media and multi platforms. With amusing anecdotes and invaluable advice from industry experts, this handbook provides you with the tools you need to run a sustainable business in both the local and international screen production environments. Every aspiring film-maker needs Film Business. More than just a reference book, it provides ideas and insights about what to do at each stage of the development and production process, from a business and creative point of view. You'll find yourself dipping into it whenever there's an urgent or difficult problem to solve. As well as new chapters by Damien Parer, Film Business includes contributions from some of the most experienced film-makers in the business: Ian Allen, Linda Aronson, Ben Cardillo, Ian Collie, Jane Corden, Peter Cudlipp, Reg Diplock, Glen Eaves, Dave Elsey, Sandra Gross, Rebecca Hunt, Libby Jeffery, Julia Leigh, Ginny Lowndes, Hal McElroy, Susie Maizels, Sue Milliken, Nicholas Oughton, Kerry Regan, Lyndon Sayer-Jones, Stephen F Smith, Mark Turnbull.

The Oxford Handbook Of Women And Gender In Medieval Europe

Author : Judith M. Bennett
ISBN : 9780191667305
Genre : History
File Size : 24. 88 MB
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The Oxford Handbook of Women and Gender in Medieval Europe provides a comprehensive overview of the gender rules encountered in Europe in the period between approximately 500 and 1500 C.E. The essays collected in this volume speak to interpretative challenges common to all fields of women's and gender history - that is, how best to uncover the experiences of ordinary people from archives formed mainly by and about elite males, and how to combine social histories of lived experiences with cultural histories of gendered discourses and identities. The collection focuses on Western Europe in the Middle Ages but offers some consideration of medieval Islam and Byzantium. The Handbook is structured into seven sections: Christian, Jewish, and Muslim thought; law in theory and practice; domestic life and material culture; labour, land, and economy; bodies and sexualities; gender and holiness; and the interplay of continuity and change throughout the medieval period. It contains material from some of the foremost scholars in this field, and it not only serves as the major reference text in medieval and gender studies, but also provides an agenda for future new research.

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