my-monster-farts

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My Robot Farts Epub

Author : Dingleberry Small
ISBN : 9781536577372
Genre : Juvenile Fiction
File Size : 87. 77 MB
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Daniel D. Drek has a problem. His new toy robot won’t stop farting, and even worse, he’s the one getting blamed. Can Danny boy put a cork in his robot’s farting habit once and for all, or will his parents ground him for all eternity? Intended for children 9-12. WARNING: This book is full of farts!

A Lonely Wayward Fart Named Steve Episode 1 Maloofed

Author : Donald Rump
ISBN : 9781533758286
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 57. 87 MB
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When Steve Skaggs realizes that his earthly body is gone and now he’s a crusty, old fart, the circumstances behind his mysterious death become clear, sending on an aloof adventure of betrayal and deceit. A Lonely, Wayward Fart Named Steve is an ongoing serial novel. This particular volume, including the subsequent author’s note, is approximately 3,150 words. WARNING This story is about a man who dies and comes back to life as a fart. There’s sex involved—not with farts, because you can’t have sex with a fart, you dolt! Anyways, there’s a Pakistani meat stick that’s mentioned, boobs that seem to defy the laws of the galaxy, and plenty of cruel and unusual things that happen to everyone’s favorite fart, Steve. Even if you are some perverted old fool, don’t read it to your kids. You don’t want to have to explain where our arch villainess’ mouth has been. And don’t say that I didn’t warn you!

There Is A Monster Under My Christmas Tree Who Farts Fart Monster And Friends

Author : Tim Miller
ISBN : 9781460701812
Genre : Juvenile Fiction
File Size : 62. 19 MB
Format : PDF
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The sequel to the hilarious THERE IS A MONSTER UNDER MY BED WHO FARTS. How much trouble can one little monster cause at Christmas time? From the cheeky duo who brought you THERE IS A MONSTER UNDER MY BED WHO FARTS and THE PIRATE WHO HAD TO PEE comes a book that is perfect for naughty boys this Christmas. The Fart Monster is back and he's tootier than ever! It's Christmas, and Fart Monster is up to his old stinky tricks ... Will the boy get the blame this time? Or will he be able to convince Santa to keep him off the naughty list? Ages: 3+

The Complete Book Of Farts

Author : Alec Bromcie
ISBN : 9781101547571
Genre : Juvenile Nonfiction
File Size : 42. 60 MB
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From the publisher of the bestselling "Gross" series comes our grossest book yet! flat•u•lence (flach-u-lens) n. Female: an embarrassing by-product of digestion Male: an endless source of entertainment, self-expression, and male bonding Since the dawn of time, farting has been with us in all its rich and varied guises. Every nation in the world has developed its own ripe and extensive vocabulary to express the function of farting. Qui a pété? (Who's farted?) the French would ask, while the Chinese have to Fon Pei Ha, the Germans furzen, and the Swedes to fisa. Farting is a universal fascination, and every generation of boys and young men seem to revel in all things farting. For everyone fascinated with farts (and you know who you are!) comes The Complete Book of Farts. Filled with hilarious, real-life experiences and stories (and a lot of nitrogen, oxygen, carbon dioxide, hydrogen, and methane), this is the perfect companion for all those who fart, and those who don't (or won't admit it). Now, in a single volume, readers will discover: history's greatest farters; recipes for fantastic farts; farting etiquette; farting vocabulary for world travelers; funniest farting jokes, limericks, and quips; true farting confessions; and much more! No other book on farting gives us as much information and hilarity as this year's best gift for every boy (of all ages!) in your life. While there might be other farting-book imitators, only The Complete Book of Farts is the ultimate guide to all things gaseous!

There Is A Monster Under My Bed Who Farts Fart Monster And Fri

Author : Tim Miller
ISBN : 9781743096680
Genre : Juvenile Fiction
File Size : 68. 87 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Mobi
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From the mega-bestselling creators of Fart Monster and Friends comes your favourite characters, now in paperback! There is a monster under my bed who farts. You don't want to use the bathroom after him... Everyone says, 'It wasn't me!' But what if it REALLY wasn't you? What if it was the monster who lives under your bed? How much trouble can one little monster cause... Written and illustrated by superstar duo, Tim Miller and Matt Stanton, this book will have you rolling all over the floor laughing. PRAISE 'With There is a Monster Under My Bed Who Farts, the two men have come up with an instant classic. It's funny, it's beautifully illustrated and it's ever so naughty. I loved it. Now it's time to share it with my daughter!' - Rob Minshull, ABC Radio Brisbane 'If the word fart offends you, don't buy this book by these Aussie blokes because you'll be encouraging your preschooler to embrace their gastric shortcomings. The super-cute illustrations will even make puritans smile' - Herald Sun 'Tickle your toddler's funny bone with this irreverent story' - Mother and Baby 'Tim Miller's text comprises simple statements about where and how the farting takes place, leaving plenty of narrative room for Matt Stanton's cartoon-style illustrations. Using simple shapes, bulging-eyed characters and dynamic compositions, he engagingly captures the personalities of the little boy, the monster and the farts. This book will provoke disgust and hilarity in equal measure, but there is no doubt that it will definitely appeal to the legion of littlies who are fascinated with "impolite" bodily functions' - Canberra Times 'The title says it all, and this jovial book will delight the under fours' - Weekend Australian

There Is A Monster On My Holiday Who Farts Fart Monster And Fr

Author : Tim Miller
ISBN : 9781460705551
Genre : Juvenile Fiction
File Size : 89. 38 MB
Format : PDF
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The Fart Monster goes global! Get your passports ready; we're about to go around the world in 80 farts ... Fart, fart and away! Most families go on holiday to get away from it all. But what if a lingering smell followed you from one country to the next? Ever wondered what could remove that smile from the Mona Lisa's face? What could force the Buckingham Palace guards to run for their lives? What mighty gust of wind could finally make the Leaning Tower of Pisa fall? All will be revealed in There is a Monster on My Holiday Who Farts! PRAISE FOR TIM AND MATT'S PICTURE BOOKS 'sure to ignite laughter, especially with boys!' -- Reading Time 'gross but hilarious' -- Better Reading

Fart Book Fart Monster Bean Fart Jokes Stories

Author : El Ninjo
ISBN : 9781635018554
Genre : Juvenile Fiction
File Size : 46. 21 MB
Format : PDF, ePub
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Let me introduce myself: "I am El Ninjo and I am the master butt-whistler because I simply can not resist exposing my family with my expressive face-melting fart art! I guarantee you and your kids will LOL at this hilarious fart book with these amazing bean blowing color and audio rich illustrations. Whether you're a "professional" butt-whistler or just an amateur, you are going to love these bottom burping fart disasters! I am going to demonstrate how I take advantage of each single sports adventure in Volume 2." He uses his powerful bean blowing air push and wins every challenging sports activity like this: * How To Jump Higher * How Windsurfing Works In The Doldrums? * The 18th Hole Trick * Baseball Power Hitting * The NY Style Artistry + Black Fart Rap Skyscraper Freestyle Sound (This is a brand new and never before released story) and more bean blowing stories... In Volume 3, El Ninjo is demonstrating how he takes advantage of each dog farts adventure in the African jungle as he faces the most dangerous jungle animals. These hilarious short stories are teaching your kids the smart way! He uses his bean blowing way in order to save his life! The list of the African Bean Fart Adventures in the Jungle goes like this: * The Safari Mobil Breakdown * The Jungle Bang * The Bean Slam'n Smoke * The Tears Gas Boom and many more steamy Kenja bean blowing stories... One last word of WARNING from El Ninjo himself: "Don't forget to check your shorts after you finish reading...because you'll laugh so hard you might tear your pants. I heard some scary story about a brave 8 year old boy who got so excited and laughed so hard about one of my fart whiffing episodes, he tore his underpants! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahah - This one is a real gag! This boy is now part of the flatulent secret society!" See you inside where you and your kids will laugh off your pants with these hilarious pant ripping stories...

Hilarious Books For Teens Fart Monster Funny Jokes

Author : El Ninjo
ISBN : 9781635018431
Genre : Juvenile Fiction
File Size : 46. 60 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
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Let me introduce myself, I am El Ninjo and I am the master butt-whistler because I simply can not resist exposing my family with my expressive face-melting fart art! I guarantee you and your kids will LOL at this hilarious fart book with these amazing bean blowing color and audio rich illustrations. Yes, I am the true master of bottom-burping disaster and I am going to impress you with my creative bottom belching ways. I will not only show you every stinky fart trick that I have in my collection, but I will also make sure to show you how to apply each individual fart situation for your own benefit! These short moral stories for kids are not only entertaining to read, to look at and to listen to, but they are teaching your kid about all kinds of life lessons the smart and not the annoying way. With this smart dog farts book your kids do not turn into little farting monsters over night, but they become smarter! This is how Einstein would have taught his kids the gravity of farts:) The list of fart situation goes like this: * The Wake Upper Popper * The Straight Up Breakfast Table Shot * The Flying Carpet * The Backpack Burster * The Gasification In The Car * The Neighbour Detonator * The Imaginary Bone Shot Or Fart Expressionism * The Blue Hour In The Elevator (this is a brand new and never before released story. It is included for the first time in this new and enhanced color and audio version of the Fart Book) * The Delivery Boy Truck Detonator * The Stinky Tsunami * The Lego Blower * The Hand Stinker * The Marshmallow Shooter * The Steamy Sweat Blanket Pooper * The Gas Eruption in the Chicken Coop and many more steamy bean blowing farting dog episodes... and many more steamy bean blowing farting dog episodes... Purchase my "Fart Book" right now for your kids while this low introductory price is still available. Go ahead...purchase "FART BOOK: Blaster! Boomer! Slammer! Popper, Banger!" right now...

Madness Tea

Author : Malaka Grant
ISBN : 9781519799425
Genre :
File Size : 80. 96 MB
Format : PDF, Mobi
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Fans of the ‘Madness’ category on the blog Mind of Malaka have reason to rejoice! Madness & Tea is a celebration of absolute nonsense, chock-full with stories that will make you cry, make you think, make you wonder why they were ever made public in the first place. If you are looking for a complete waste of perfectly good time, you’ve found it. Certain to shock and offend those with more genteel sensibilities, Madness &Tea will entertain the more gauche members of our society at large.

Sergeant Smelly And Captain Chunder Aliens

Author : James Sharkey
ISBN :
Genre : Comics & Graphic Novels
File Size : 88. 32 MB
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Aliens from the Planet Eeeville have invaded Earth with much evilness. Will evil finally win the day? Will the Pooperhero Sergeant Smelly produce enough fart bombs and fire-farts to defeat the aliens? Will farting continue to be funny and gross at the same time? Find out the answers to these questions and much less in the hilarious adventures of Sergeant Smelly and Captain Chunder.

Carter Finally Gets It

Author : Brent Crawford
ISBN : 9781423140894
Genre : Juvenile Fiction
File Size : 31. 30 MB
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Meet Will Carter, but feel free to call him Carter. (Yes, he knows it's a lazy nickname, but he didn't have much say in the matter.) Here are five things you should know about him: 1. He has a stuttering problem, particularly around boobs and belly buttons. 2. He battles Attention Deficit Disorder every minute of every day unless he gets distracted. 3. He's a virgin, mostly because he's no good at talking to girls (see number 1). 4. He's about to start high school. 5. He's totally not ready. Join Carter for his freshman year, where he'll search for sex, love, and acceptance anywhere he can find it. In the process, he'll almost kill a trombone player, face off with his greatest nemesis, suffer a lot of blood loss, narrowly escape death, run from the cops (not once, but twice), get caught up in a messy love triangle, meet his match in the form of a curvy drill teamer, and surprise the hell out of everyone, including himself.

Silent Violence

Author : D. M. Samson
ISBN : 9780955679605
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 49. 13 MB
Format : PDF, Docs
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In 1984 Dawn Marie travelled with her husband to Saudi Arabia. He had secured a job replacing the outgoing foreman of a secluded farm near Riyadh. Almost two years later she would return. Alone. Broken. In Silent Violence she tells us of her journey: a long downward spiral. From the first inklings of things not being right, a pet killer in the expatriate compound, clandestine excursions by the farm crew, through to the rising hysteria within the expatriate community, then the killings at the farm, the ensuing imprisonment, moral deterioration, government procrastination and eventual deliverance.

Squidge Dibley Destroys The School

Author : Mick Elliott
ISBN : 9780734419439
Genre : Juvenile Fiction
File Size : 74. 92 MB
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Things are going downhill fast for class 6PU at Craglands South Primary School. They've changed teachers more times than most kids change their socks, and their latest one is so strict they aren't even allowed to sneeze. But just when it seems like the school term has been turned into a prison term, a new kid arrives. A kid unlike any other kid at Craglands South. A kid named Squidge Dibley. He's small, quiet and strangely ... squidgy. And he's about to change everything. Squidge Dibley Destroys the School is book one in a hilarious new series by Mick Elliott, author of The Turners, and features his unforgettable cartoon-style illustrations on every page.

Fart Monster And Me The Bumper Edition Fart Monster And Me 1 4

Author : Tim Miller
ISBN : 0733340237
Genre :
File Size : 51. 28 MB
Format : PDF, Mobi
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Nothing exciting has ever happened in Ben Dugan's backyard. That is, until a Fart Monster alien crash-lands from the biggest and smelliest storm cloud in the sky! In one split second, Ben's life changes forever. FART MONSTER AND ME is the hilarious series from bestselling duo Tim Miller and Matt Stanton -- sure to get kids laughing ... and reading! A bindup of the four books in the series: The Crash Landing, The New School, The Birthday Party, The Class Excursion.

The Big Book Of Gross Stuff

Author : Bart King
ISBN : 9781423614784
Genre : Juvenile Nonfiction
File Size : 44. 93 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
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From boogers, B.O., and belches to sneezes, diseases, and demon cheeses, The Big Book of Gross Stuff is chock-full of practical knowledge including a Gross Quiz (kids can see how they stack up against the rest of society) and the World's Most Disgusting Jobs (whale-feces research, anyone?). With the turn of every page, The Big Book of Gross Stuff will challenge your gag reflexes as it introduces topics, terminology and trivia about toilets, scabies, decaying bodies, and much more. The pages overflow with humor and an array of cool phrases that will have readers bending and sending, blowing soup, and gargling gravy all the way to the bathroom! For instance, did you know: In 1971, a band named Hot Poop released a record titled Does Their Own Stuff! They were never heard from again. When using fake vomit, the key to faking people out is to sprinkle water on the stuff to make it look more realistic. Belly button lint is composed of dust, dried sweat, fat, dead skin, and bits of cotton. A man named Graham Barker has collected his belly button lint in jars since 1984. Check out the book trailer on YouTube: Big Book of Gross Stuff: Making Distinctions! http://bit.ly/gcWwcB Bart King, a self-proclaimed "dabbler," is interested in games, magic, current events, music, chess, history, literature, geography, travel, crime, science fiction, art, and almost everything else! The veteran of many water-balloon wars, he's twice won the prized "Arrested Development" award from the New York Society of Amateur Psychologists. He earned a master's degree in history from Sonoma State University and has taught middle school for the past fifteen years. Bart's work has been featured in The Oregonian, The Portland Tribune, Chicago Parent, Family Fun magazine and many other publications. He has also appeared on dozens of television and radio programs including the widely syndicated "Bob and Tom Show." Not only is Bart a wild and crazy boy, he's also the author of the bestselling Big Book of Boy Stuff. Bart subsequently co-authored The Big Book of Girl Stuff with his five sisters and 50 former students. This title won widespread acclaim; if you are skeptical (and you should be!) please see its product page. Also, take a look at these fun links: Bart's fabulously fun and entertaining blogs: Ultragross.blogspot.com and Bartkings.blogspot.com Bart's awesome Website: Bartking.net Bart's Amazon Author Page & Video http://amzn.to/fp8LaA

Fart Quest The Barf Of The Bedazzler

Author : Aaron Reynolds
ISBN : 9781250206398
Genre : Juvenile Fiction
File Size : 59. 82 MB
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The second book in the laugh-out-loud fart-themed adventure series by acclaimed author Aaron Reynolds

Uncle John S Actual And Factual Bathroom Reader

Author : Bathroom Readers' Institute
ISBN : 9781684124985
Genre : Humor
File Size : 79. 71 MB
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It’s an actual fact—Uncle John is the most entertaining thing in the bathroom! Uncle John and his team of devoted researchers are back again with an all-new collection of weird news stories, odd historical events, dubious “scientific” theories, jaw-dropping lists, and more. This entertaining 31st anniversary edition contains 512 pages of all-new articles that will appeal to readers everywhere. Pop culture, history, dumb crooks, and other actual and factual tidbits are packed onto every page of this book. Inside, you’ll find . . . Dogs and cats who ran for political office The bizarre method people in Victorian England used to resuscitate drowning victims The man who met his future pet—a stray dog—while running across the Gobi Desert Searching for Planet X—the last unknown planet in our solar system Twantrums—strange Twitter rants that had disastrous effects The true story of Boaty McBoatface And much more!

Fart Quest

Author : Aaron Reynolds
ISBN : 9781250206374
Genre : Juvenile Fiction
File Size : 66. 43 MB
Format : PDF, Mobi
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"Stay tuned for further gassy exploits." - Booklist, starred review Jam-packed with potty humor, feats of bravery, and magical friendships, Fart Quest by bestselling author Aaron Reynolds and illustrator Cam Kendell is perfect for every young hero looking for a wild adventure. After their masters are vaporized in a goblin battle gone bad, Fart, Pan, and Moxie—three lowly apprentices—decide to impersonate their mentors and pick up the mantle as heroes of the realm. But they need more than a fancy robe, magic staff, and book of magical beasts to be real heroes. They need a quest! So when The Great and Powerful Kevin puts out a call for help, seeking the coveted Golden Llama and its magical golden fart, young Fart and his friends jump at the chance and embark on a journey they were destined for. This title has Common Core connections.

The Mind Workout

Author : Mark Freeman
ISBN : 9780349414546
Genre : Self-Help
File Size : 85. 39 MB
Format : PDF
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It's well known that if you want to keep your body fit, you must do some regular exercise. But when it comes to our mental health, few of us take the time to maintain and improve it. For some reason, we expect to be in great mental shape without doing any work. And when we realise we're struggling, we look for a quick and easy fix instead of developing the skills that will help us in the future. Enter The Mind Workout - a home exercise programme for improving your mental health and fitness. Developed as a result of Mark Freeman's own recovery from mental illness, The Mind Workout combines mindfulness, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). It outlines twenty easy-to-follow steps you can take to free yourself from the ways of thinking and behaving that cause mental health challenges in your life - from cutting out the compulsions that cause uncertainty, anxiety and distress to relieving stress and distraction. The Mind Workout is the key to making the switch from a frenetic, anxiety-driven life to one that's based on your core values. It will leave you feeling mentally stronger, fitter and better equipped to navigate the complexities of everyday life.

Dog Farts More Silly Jokes For Kids

Author : El Ninjo & Timmie Gu
ISBN : 9781635016932
Genre : Juvenile Fiction
File Size : 86. 87 MB
Format : PDF, ePub
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BONUS - Includes FREE Dog Farts Audio Book for Kids Inside! This dog farts book with silly jokes for kids is a compilation of New & Enhanced Version of: Volume 1 Part 1 & 2 + Volume 2 + Volume 3 + Dog Jerks Vol. 3. Let me introduce myself, I am El Ninjo and I am the master butt-whistler because I simply can not resist exposing my family with my expressive face-melting fart art! I guarantee you and your kids will LOL at this hilarious fart book with these amazing bean blowing color and audio rich illustrations. Whether you're a "professional" butt-whistler or just an amateur, you are going to love these bottom burping fart disasters! The situations go like: * The Wake Upper Popper * The Straight Up Breakfast Table Shot * The Flying Carpet * The Backpack Burster * The Gasification In The Car * The Neighbour Detonator * The Imaginary Bone Shot Or Fart Expressionism * The Blue Hour In The Elevator * The Stinky Tsunami * The Lego Blower * The Hand Stinker * The Marshmallow Shooter * The Steamy Sweat Blanket Pooper * The Gas Eruption in the Chicken Coop and many more... In Volume 2 he faces the most challenging sports activities. He uses his bean blowing ways in order to benefit from his powerful bean blowing air push and win every challenging sports activity like: * How To Jump Higher * How Windsurfing Works In The Doldrums? * Driving On The Merry Go Round Is Only Fun With Some Fart Art * The 18th Hole Trick * Baseball Power Hitting * The NY Style Artistry + Fart Rap Skyscraper Freestyle Sound and many more... In Vol. 3 he faces situations like: * The Jungle Giant Boom * The Tear Gas Pop * The Jungle Bang * Original Kenia Beans With Sounds The list of Dog Jerks - Vol. 3 goes like this: Why Dogs Can Be Real Jerks Sometimes Jerky Treats Better Than Celery Sticks The Perky Bullfrog Trick Egocentric Pesky Perks Pee Wee Herman Philosophy A Jerk's Agenda lots more...

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