you can t give vodka to a baby

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You Can T Give Vodka To A Baby

Author : Oliver Green
ISBN : 1927262267
Genre : Humor
File Size : 30. 40 MB
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You can't give vodka to a baby ... and other parenting myths is a parody baby/child-raising manual. A joke. Filled with advice, diagrams, case studies and the most politically incorrect views on raising children ever put on paper. It pokes fun at the millions of books, articles, blogs and people out there who make it their business to tell other people how to raise their kids - and do it with such passive aggressive bullying verve. Written by fictitious author Dr Oliver (He got his doctorate from the same university as Dr Dre ...) and filled with You can't say that! moments that will give new parents a chuckle and make them remember that raising kids isn't as complicated as the advice industry would have them believe. Or as Dr Oliver would say: Kids are quite resilient mammals. Also - they don't really remember anything until they're about 4 years old so you got a bit of wiggle room.

Vodka Poetry

Author :
ISBN : 9781847477620
Genre :
File Size : 34. 4 MB
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Laughing Wild And Baby With The Bathwater

Author : Christopher Durang
ISBN : 9780802188892
Genre : Drama
File Size : 64. 27 MB
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“Laughing wild amid severest woe” perfectly describes the fiercely ironic comedy of Christopher Durang’s Laughing Wild (which takes its title from this Thomas Gray quotation via Samuel Beckett) and the previously unpublished Baby with the Bathwater. In Laughing Wild, two comic monologues evolve into a man and a woman’s shared nightmare of modern life and the isolation it creates. From her turf battles at the supermarket to the desperate clichés of self-affirmation he learns at his “per­sonality workshop,” they run the gamut of everyday life’s small brutalizations until they meet, with disastrous inevitability, at the Harmonic Convergence in Central Park.

Mum In A Million

Author : Judith Holder
ISBN : 9781409140597
Genre : Humor
File Size : 73. 93 MB
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There is no one quite like your mother - but along with the unconditional love and understanding, this also means that there is no one else who always knows when you're fibbing, or where you keep your diary, or the terribly amusing thing you once said at a family wedding when you were five. In an affectionate, amusing and mischievous book, Judith Holder's tribute to motherhood covers everything from mothers through the ages (it's not only the Virgin Mary who we wish had had an immaculate conception) to maternal anxiety and those little things she says and why she says them: 'You're not going out like that', 'What are you doing inside on a lovely day like today?', and the classic 'because I said so.' Using interviews and testimonies from mothers and daughters of all ages, this is a humorous look at motherhood and everything that goes with it, with beautifully illustrated and funny line drawings integrated into the text.

Are You There Vodka It S Me Chelsea

Author : Chelsea Handler
ISBN : 9781448135929
Genre : Humor
File Size : 87. 39 MB
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Chelsea Handler is a woman on a mission. She's smart, sassy and not afraid to speak her mind. From an early age Chelsea knew exactly what she wanted and even in the trickiest of situations, she's never one to pass up an opportunity. Like the time she convinced her third-grade class she was shooting movies with Goldie Hawn on location in the Galapagos just to get them to like her, or when she spent the night in a women's prison, contemplating an affair with the inmate who killed her own sister. Chelsea it seems, has done it all, and a whole lot more ... Any mishaps along the way just spur Chelsea on further. Whether she is being dry-humped by a sumo masseur, dumped by her Big Red experiment or kicked out of a London restaurant with her pants down, Chelsea is always armed with an unshakeable disregard for rules and is incapable of leading a quiet life. Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea is an entertaining memoir-in-stories that will have you rolling around with laughter.

Coin Locker Babies

Author : Ryu Murakami
ISBN : 9781782270348
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 55. 69 MB
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Two babies are left in a Tokyo station coin locker and survive against the odds, but their lives are forever tainted by this inauspicious start. As they grow up, they join the ranks of Toxitown: a district of addicts, freaks and prostitutes. One becomes a bisexual rock star and looks for his mother, while the other one, an athlete, seeks revenge. This savage and stunning story unfolds in a surrealistic whirl of violence.

If You Got The Guts Run Baby Run

Author : Joan Santoro
ISBN : 9781465328038
Genre : Biography & Autobiography
File Size : 46. 33 MB
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The story involves my daring venture to invade into in a mans world as a labor unions leader. It was an enlightening experience as I gained a valuable amount of knowledge from all types of people. Taking over, as head of a labor organization is a huge responsibility and certainly not a position to be taken lightly. Few women have had those experiences or traveled to the areas where I campaigned. The probability of becoming famous was never an issue with me. The enormous responsibilities of settling individual grievances, negotiating various types of labor contracts, attending conventions and seminars keeping abreast of the ever-changing laws, mentioning just a few of the many important factors of the position I challenged. Several well-qualified people on labor issues were ready and willing to work with me. The hurtful traumas that transpired during this era finally disappeared as writing things down. I later realized that it was important therapy to write about my struggles in a book. Of course at this time of my life, I would not be so naive about a lot of things but life constantly teaches us valuable lessons. Life is different now, as women handle mens tough, demanding important positions. Perhaps I was just born too soon. My interest as a concerned people person is still prevalent in my daily endeavors and thankful of the road I took. Id do it all over again despite all the extreme hardships, as I understand the political arena much more than before.

The Journey For Mama S Babies

Author : Melissa R. Pandolf
ISBN : 9781622875542
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 26. 2 MB
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Melissa Pandolf has never been one to let a few rules stand in her way. So when she and her husband, Doug, began the adoption process, the hopeful mother-to-be had her sights set on quickly welcoming two beaming babies to make the Pandolf house a family home. However, after three years; four trips to Russia; one trip to Washington, DC; and two plane crashes that threatened to bring their dream down around them, she came to realize that a bigger destiny awaited them on the other side of the world. As the adoptive parents of four Russian siblings, the young couple from Long Island learned the true meaning of family, and what it means to go the extra mile to give your children what they need. Beginning with the first meeting with an adoption agency, The Journey for Mama's Babies chronicles the Pandolfs' three-year odyssey to bring their babies home. From her naïve initial assumptions about the process to her ultimate hard-won savvy and resolve, Pandolf shares every key aspect of the experience, including the unexpected depression that can be companion to this emotionally wrenching process. With clear-eyed candor, the author recounts the ups and downs, the unexpected twists, and the backward loops that frequently punctuated their mission. Along the way, she and her husband were also faced with heartbreaking decisions that neither had anticipated, as their dream of two children quickly grew when a larger group of siblings presented itself. At the same time, the couple also confronted the demand for an ironclad resiliency due to countless setbacks, never-ending red tape, and a constantly shifting perspective on what it truly means to be a family. Still, their challenges only began when they finally were joined together in the United States, as the Pandolfs scrambled to help their children make the transition from speaking Russian to speaking English and help them adjust to their new surroundings. Enlightening, easy to read, and arrestingly honest, The Journey for Mama's Babies will captivate anyone who has ever navigated the intricacies of the adoption process or who cares about someone who has. Both inspiring and open-eyed, this tender, telling story of a family built across oceans, languages, and every imaginable obstacle will take hold of your heart, and make you hold your loved ones closer still.

A Random Interruption Surviving Breast Cancer With Laughter Vodka Smoothies And An Attitude

Author : Suzanne Zaccone
ISBN : 9781465330635
Genre : Medical
File Size : 87. 20 MB
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Suzanne Zaccone, one of Americas most influential entrepreneurs, strips naked with a feisty and clear-eyed story of how she loses her breast and fights to get it back. Zaccone writes with an iron grip on the details, and reveals the secrets of cancer patients that are taboo and lost in translation. A Random Interruption is equipped with a dictionary of the language of breast cancer and a list of provocative questions to ask the doctors. World-renowned plastic and reconstructive surgeon Dr. David Song adds a medical perspective to the book with a Doctors Corner. Raw and unflinching, Zaccones story is the stuff of other womens livesof mothers and daughters and sisters, and of the sisterhood that forms when women are united in battle against a common enemy. Dense, atmospheric and written with spectacular wit and style, A Random Interruption is a literary tour de force. All proceeds from this book will go to the Breast Cancer Center at the University of Chicago.

The A To Z Of Fuckin Everything

Author : Oliver Green
ISBN : 1522832378
Genre :
File Size : 66. 28 MB
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The A To Z Of Fuckin' Everything Vol.1 is a snapshot of the world as it looks right now in 2016. Pretty fuckin' exhausted. More of a punk pamphlet than traditional book it's written in a sound-bite format even an over privileged, under employed, millennial or FOX News anchor could understand. Anyway, who reads books anymore? Old ladies and abacus makers that's fuckin' who.The A To Z Of Fuckin' Everything Vol.1 screams through the alphabet from America to Zombie Apocalypse stopping off at Death, Hollywood, Kids and War and shines a light on fuckin' everything along the way. Writing like he's in pain Oliver Green breaks every fuckin' thing in the world down and vomits it out onto some pink paper in bite sized chunks of goodness like a mother penguin on meth. The result is perfect for your frazzled, short-burst, fingered, kicked and social-media-battered attention spans or for the long toilet breaks that our macro-paleo-gluten nil-raw-real diets inflict on our bowels. It really is a pile of shit-erature. "The A To Z Of Fuckin' Everything Vol.1 is bonafide wankerpedia" Says author, Oliver Green. Oliver Green is an anger fuelled miscreant who is made more furious by over worshipped pop culture, accepted evil, religious fuckery, spiritual materialism, sound bite douchery, Caucasian-lameness, over crowded band wagons and pointless cruelty that surrounds us. And like all middle aged white males who has never known hardship, conflict, hunger or real adversity he believes that his voice is somehow special and he's uniquely qualified to give the world his remarkable point of fuckin' view so felt he needed some sort of platform for his soft-bellied opinions to be heard... but instead he wrote this piece of nonsense.This book has no narrative, no publisher, no editor, no reviews, no readership and no fuckin' hope of making it on any fucking lists and if you like it chances are you aren't fuckin' Oprah.

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